Big step today

Took a big step today, not really the one I was hoping for. Moved into 1 of our spare rooms. 15 years next to the same person, tonight will not be easy nor will the morning. Our therapist wants me to move out completely however that's not an easy move financially at the moment. I'm so broken that I don't think that all of the kings horses and all of the kings men will be able to put me back together again. Just to have someone hold me or be able to hold someone is a feeling I miss a lot. I love my dogs but it's just not the same.