Big hug, life is complex

he is a very high octane person, he's young and ambitious and very successful.

He likes talking to me - he says I am a comfort to him - which is nice.

My friend Steve on the trip said this too. I was a bit freaked out with Father Max though.

I was trying to understand him and speak my mind at the same time.

I opened up with him as I hadn't done with anyone at the monastery as of yet.

It just happened and it actually taught me some things. It made me feel very vulnerable

and humble about my life trajectory and flawed too - but I realized for a few mistakes made in front of a new

person - maybe slips of a hint of a mental health condition - does not cancel out a person's validity- or even viability as a person in work or friendship -

there's no writing off me simply because I don't know the answers completely for the person

in front of me...but again I learned how to listen to him - I started to know how to be me in front of him - and I started to understand

as he was openly saying how he was trying to make sense of his life and his decision making

process - it may have been different from the way i do it - but it was like a piece to a puzzle. Everyone does it - and I am not alone in needing to talk

things out - and process things in my own way - as he showed me...this 38 year old very successful guy. I then went down to the cafeteria to prepare the meal and there was Mr. Sam, the Abbess's father, talking about his life to me and voicing his decision making process and ideas about things. It made me again feel a sense of humanity and normalcy about myself kind of objectively seeing 'it's human nature' - it's what people do, including me.

It made me wary about 'significant other' relationships but easy does it.easy does it - in terms of just focusing on one things at time at the moment.