bide your time

You aren't sane. Your emotions and thoughts are all over the place. Telling you to do things you will really regret later on. Your goals are simple; work out, keep your mind busy, do your chores and go to work. Purge the attic and study. Take no other action right now and do not talk about this to anyone. focus. Your thinking is and always has been the problem. It's why you're sitting at the keyboard now, thinking about all your failures and short comings, all your plans to run away from home and get high and chase women, all the books you want to write, the classes you want to take, the degrees you want to earn, the languages you want to speak, the artial arts you want to practice, and the careers you want to be retiring from soon. It's why you're sitting here fantasizing about all of it while your friends are out, and have been all their/your life, doing it for reals. 

Two things this is not: it is not a self pity post and it is not a "get a hammer and nail" post.