BFN confirmed by AF

We'll for those that didn't know AF was supposed to show today if my cycle failled even though my RE is making me wait till Friday for my beta.  Why the extra days, I don't know, they now do beta's later than with my last cycle.
We'll I'm nothing if not ponctual so AF decided to show to prove my BFN this morning was spot on even with my 3 doses of progesterone per day.
AF it me like a load of bricks.  I was in my office  and didn't even know how I'd get up to come home.
I felt so positive when we got the ok to cycle and was good until this weekend when I realized I just wasn't feeling it.
I really did everything I could this cycle.  I haven't touched coffee or a drink in over 2 months. I was eating all the right things (I was turning into a pinapple). I haven't even gotten into a bath incase the water temp was just a little to high.
I guest I'll be drinking my hole cruise next week.  After the awful day of BFNs today with Alana and Nelly, I think I should be drinking for 3.
I only get to see my RE on March 28 so that's a hole month away.  DH and I  agreed this morning we'll do 4 more IVFs and then we'll stop TTC.  I don't know how I'll find the energy or hope.  This embry was perfect, what more will it take.
I know I'll get through this and get some hope back but I also know I woudn't be able to if it wasn't for all of you that understand and are always there with a hug or a reply.