...between us.....never been so confused.
the new doc......
he says i don't have polymyalgic rheumatica. based on conversation.
he says i don't need the infusions. based on conversation focused on one number.
he didn't say anything about CFS. nothing, now my son says when this doc is hearing all the issues (the laundry list) i have this makes sense. to me this NEVER makes sense. when cfs reduces your quality of life footprint in such an indelible way it levels you in a way that some of the other managed illnesses do not. for example, high blood pressure of thyroid disease.
he believes the fibromyalgia has gotten much much worse.....he barely touched the trigger points, he barely touched my arms or legs which are very tender and pain filled. so i wonder what is what.
he is a nice guy, but i didn't feel like we were connecting. i believe that my other rheumy has made some big mistakes with me.....but this has me all flattened. why would she have me get infusions i DO NOT NEED? this is no small thing. now with two such differing opinions i now need a third opinion?
i don't know whether to be relieved or cry. truly don't know........what big organization in our big country can help me sort this out? who do i call to guide me now?
i've decided to cancel the appt with the pain doc. not make an appt with the vascular guy for now........wait and rest and take a break. so bloody over it all. angry/confused/upset/disgusted/hurt......
sam was awesome.
at one point i have to go in and have blood drawn. i walk in and this young lady looks at me, says what is that and points. i have no clue what she is talking about. i ask her, she points at the area between my chest and neck and asks again. my skin is very flushed from my cheeks down my neck and on my chest........
is this the way of the world now? general rudeness? then sam sticks his head into check on me and the tech taking blood wants to know if my son is always so overprotective of me. what the hell.......
i can count on one hand the number of times i've had someone with me while at a doctor visit in the last oh my god now many years......to have support means the world. to have it criticised is hurtful.
am i too touchy? or are some people just too verbal for their own good? i much prefer the old way of normal when people talk about a person behind their back......why should i/or anyone have to hear everything negative meany heads have to say? why don't they have a filter between the brain and the mouth?
so i'm on hold with the new doc's office, the young lady said the new doc believes the number indicating the need for the infusions is borderline. i say this is hard for me, i don't understand the numbers well enough to know what to do. one doctor's borderline may be different to another doctor. the young lady advises me to wait for the results of the new numbers. good, this is a plan. ok.
because the way things are now i don't know what to do. it was no small thing to set up the infusions, get all the information in to them and get everything approved. i may think a lot of things about my rheumy, but do i think she would set me up for something like this if she didn't believe it was necessary? so confused my mind hurts..........i wonder ......could these numbers be a reflection of the prednisone in my system? is that possible? mercy.......why didn't i go to med school? so i could understand all these things going on with me.........so i could no more and not feel so in the dark about my own health?????????????/
gotta make some calls......cancel an appt, and get a referrral to get a new sleep study. sigh. sigh, sigh.........this is an all day jammie day. yuppers it surely is.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR PRAYERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!
Replies
When all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. In other words, doctors see your symptoms through the lens of their training. If you see a nutritionist, your problem is sugar. If you see a psychiatrist, you are depressed. If you see an ME specialist, you have ME. So, it's terribly confusing. Everyone will tell you different things. Love you.
Thank goodness for Sam.♥
I would and am just as confused as you are Ruthie.. I think I would write down all my questions to ask the doctors about. The questions you asked here make sense to me.. Rest is a good idea right at this moment.
I go on a regular basis to have blood drawn I am on warfarin. and I have always found the vibe in the lab a bit off. I think what the lab tech asked you was rude. (((hugs)))
You have so many symptoms that are in high gear right now along with all the stress and pain. Give yourself a bit of time just rest.
Love and Prayers ♥
So sorry for you Ruthie. Just let it all go for now and take time out and pamper your sweet self. Be patient and wait until a diagnosis is clear and sure. The prednisone in your system may actually be contributing to the cloudiness of it all. So wait a while. A conflicting diagnosis is not unusual, that's for sure. Next time someone makes a comment about your son being over protective...Your response could be. "Oh yes how blessed I am to have the best son ever." I had someone insult me just recently about how long I've been selling paintings in this village. So I quickly replied..."Yes they have been a blessing, these paintings. I've been able to help so many people with the money made from them. I'm so fortunate. Stick it to those insensitive people Ruthie. It's good for their lack of spiritual growth.
I believe those type of people recognize our sensitive vulnerable nature and we are easy targets for their hungry false egos. When our physical bodies are in a weakened state, we are naturally more sensitive and can get knocked down very easily. I'm the same. We have to protect our hearts.
Hold strong Ruthie blue eyes. You are just wonderful. Flip the pancake as you used to say. Sing a tune out loud and do a happy wiggle. Love you.xoxoxoxoxo