better to make

I was really badgered this morning with intrusive thoughts during a delivery run for my parents.

My Aunties (my mother's sisters), this past year,

wanted to come out ot California to visit.

I told them though that I no longer live in the city of Los Angeles and I have a very tiny

apartment.  My sister used to have a lovely house right in the middle of the city and so 
I suppose they were counting on something like that (but now my sister lives out of the country.)

I said to them - why don't we all meet at one of the Aunt's condo in Florida where she goes

every winter? They liked that idea or so I thought. 

Now that we've started to plan that trip, I'm starting to get a sense that they don't want

to do it. I've emailed them - and texted them - and they don't respond.

I think I am just going to offer to them that it's 'ok if they want to cancel'...

in truth I don't really want to go either.. But they were so eager and proposed it

initially so I tried to find a way to make it work....

Anyways, these thoughts of the crazy family came to mind while I was driving this

morning and I've been trying to keep productive in the face of it... Better to have

your stirred up energy 'make something' for you rather than have it eat you.

These past few days have been kind of like that in the sense that I have felt tossed around

and mixed up - losing a sense of wisdom or perspective but perhaps it's just a challenge

for me to 'get on with things' even when I don't have such a mental lid (and so a sense of safety)

on myself.

I got myself a Starbucks just now and I'll get on with the day's laundry!

An image of the Carol Burnett 'char woman' comes to mind. :)

Have a good day you guys!!