better every day

I find myself at time being okay. the first month i felt as though everything had ended even now i have moments were a song comes on or i see a photo or my brain says to me Lohren were is he and i completley lose it but were as my crying would at first consume me i have built the ability to get it out and move on for a few hours. i am using my walking machine every morening, than going to the gym every afternoon and than walking for an hour before bed every night and to my suprise it is actually helping. i feel a little more confident every day a little more independent and best of all a little more okay. its only been 5 weeks but i think i will be okay. i see now that what i am going through is normal there is nothing wrong with being a hot mess i just need to ensure i dont let it consume me entirely.