Better?

Last night I did everything I needed to do to try and feel better today. I didn't smoke at all. I didn't have caffeine all day. I had minimal sugar. I meditated before bed (it actually wasn't a very good session), and subsequently got to bed earlier, but not as early as I would have liked.

This morning when I woke up, I did feel better overall. I was encouraged by the results and thought that the rest of the day would follow suit.

But it kinda hasn't. I'm not nearly as drowsy/exhausted as I was yesterday. I don't feel quite as tense or "off" as I was yesterday. My stomach has been a bit more active today, but it's more like it wants food as opposed to being "upset."

And yet as I sit here and write this, I feel tense and jittery, possibly more (especially the jitteriness) than yesterday. I suspect the muscle tension could be related to sitting in a bathtub for several hours (it's one of my most relaxing places to be), and that tension might be causing me to feel jittery as a result.

But I still feel "off" or anxious. I shouldn't really be surprised; yesterday was probably the worst I felt all week, did I really expect to be feeling great today!? We know that's not how this works. We know that things don't just get better overnight; that each day is a stepping stone to the next, and that there are continuous ups and downs.

I'm just impatient because I HATE feeling anxious and I want to feel normal quickly.

And what if some of this is withdrawal from other things that my body has come to expect; like sugar and caffeine? That's entirely possible too!

I guess all I can do at this point is do what I need to in order to feel comfortable and continue doing the things I've been doing to try and feel better, and hope for the best.

Hopefully tomorrow I'll be feeling a little bit better.