Being realistic
I've come to the conclusion that I will never get over the betrayal. I cant even think of the good times anymore. Just how much it hurts to have someone you love stab you in the back.
I will carry this scar the rest of my life. I don't know how to let go.
I broke down again last night. haven't cried in a while. This was bad. It wasn't crying it was more like intense pain and wailing.
I know it takes time and I know that the hurt will lessen. But right now It just keeps getting worse.
I try to stay positive and it just seems fake. I keep asking why ... why ... why... There is no answer and I cannot control this situation at all.
These are all questions I have asked before and feelings I have posted about before but they still feel as strong today as they did a week ago.
I've lost my partner, my wife, my lover, and my companion. She is dead. She is not the same person AT ALL. How do you change like that? How does it happen? Why am I such an idiot and a fool.
I think I hate myself as well. I hate that I am so upset over someone that betrayed me.
I wish I had someone to talk to one on one. I cant afford counseling. And family is ok but I want someone who knows what I am going through.
I will carry this scar the rest of my life. I don't know how to let go.
I broke down again last night. haven't cried in a while. This was bad. It wasn't crying it was more like intense pain and wailing.
I know it takes time and I know that the hurt will lessen. But right now It just keeps getting worse.
I try to stay positive and it just seems fake. I keep asking why ... why ... why... There is no answer and I cannot control this situation at all.
These are all questions I have asked before and feelings I have posted about before but they still feel as strong today as they did a week ago.
I've lost my partner, my wife, my lover, and my companion. She is dead. She is not the same person AT ALL. How do you change like that? How does it happen? Why am I such an idiot and a fool.
I think I hate myself as well. I hate that I am so upset over someone that betrayed me.
I wish I had someone to talk to one on one. I cant afford counseling. And family is ok but I want someone who knows what I am going through.
Replies
It\'s pretty rough. Definitely the worst thing I\'ve ever been through. It tears you down completely. You\'ll have those/these moments - where it just hurts so much and you can\'t fathom it. Your world is torn apart. Everything that you counted on, framed your life around - gone.
I don\'t really have any answers. In my readings on this site I have come across some comments saying that everything in life is temporary - even life itself. And if you think about it, it\'s true. No one lives forever. And even relationships are temporary - they end, they fade away, or someone dies, etc.
I guess it can be easy to become a bit complacent when it comes to a spouse. I mean, you both said \"till death do us part\" or something similar. That\'s how it should be. You counted on it. But there are no guarantees, and nothing is permanent.
Yes, you\'ll carry this scar forever. It will shape you. But in some ways it will improve you. No one wants to go around feeling jaded, but the truth is it could help you have a more realistic view of love, relationships, and life. But yeah, it will also make it more difficult for you to trust a woman with your love, more difficult to commit.
Eventually you\'ll probably remember the good times. But for a while you won\'t want to - I don\'t either. It\'s not worth feeling the loss.
Your goal in the near term is to think about moving on - yeah, it\'ll take a while. But focus on your day-to-day life, on doing things that are productive and/or keep you occupied and busy. Focus on you and let time start to take the edge off the pain. And you absolutely will have the ups and downs. But they get less extreme over time, also.
You may have to force yourself to do a hobby that you (used to) like. I can recall having no desire to do ANYTHING - nothing made me remotely happy. But if you force yourself, sometimes you do feel a little bit happy. You are reconnecting with a past part of yourself, keeping your mind occupied. So even if you don\'t want to, it may be worth forcing yourself to (for me, it was/is music - and guitar playing).
Try to find joy in the little things. Your kid says something funny that only a kid would say, you have a pleasant interaction with a cashier at the store, you\'re driving along the road on a sunny day - it could be anything. Most of us miss most of the little positives around us all day long. It can help to focus on those things and ignore, for a little while, the \"elephant in the room\".
Hang in there. It gets better.