Being more realistic
I need to be more realistic with my goals. The one about being happy will only be achievable once i get the right anti depressant. I am still not cutting, havent for about 5 days now. Feeling less guilty is a realistic goal, it is achievable, i just need to practice it. And getting into shape is currently succeeding.
4 days until i see med dr and 23 days until i see new therapist. I will talk to my med dr about how my medication wellbutrin has been making me irritable the past two months and it gets worse slowly. I need a new anxiety pill because Xanax doesnt do anything for me much, if its something its very little.
I am getting into watercolor which calms me down, and painting whatever i feel is helping me feel less worried/guilty. My dad wants me to go to the local library and search for watercolor books, i will, when im in the mood for it or else i wont be able to handle the public are with men around.
This morning at the KH (Kingdom Hall) two teenage brothers shook my hand and said hi. I was completely zoned out when they came through the door and randomly walked up to me , i know they were being polite, but when i shook the second and last guy's and i was screaming in my mind and my heart was pounding way to fast and everything didnt feel real. I think they were just visiting, because they came wit another teenage guy who is in my hall. There were brothers everywhere as usual and it was harder this time to deal with them. I stayed in the bathroom first half while a brother gave a talk, and then the second half for the watchtower, then last minute i popped out and followed along, standing in the arch way of the auditorium.
4 days until i see med dr and 23 days until i see new therapist. I will talk to my med dr about how my medication wellbutrin has been making me irritable the past two months and it gets worse slowly. I need a new anxiety pill because Xanax doesnt do anything for me much, if its something its very little.
I am getting into watercolor which calms me down, and painting whatever i feel is helping me feel less worried/guilty. My dad wants me to go to the local library and search for watercolor books, i will, when im in the mood for it or else i wont be able to handle the public are with men around.
This morning at the KH (Kingdom Hall) two teenage brothers shook my hand and said hi. I was completely zoned out when they came through the door and randomly walked up to me , i know they were being polite, but when i shook the second and last guy's and i was screaming in my mind and my heart was pounding way to fast and everything didnt feel real. I think they were just visiting, because they came wit another teenage guy who is in my hall. There were brothers everywhere as usual and it was harder this time to deal with them. I stayed in the bathroom first half while a brother gave a talk, and then the second half for the watchtower, then last minute i popped out and followed along, standing in the arch way of the auditorium.
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