being alone

today I kept busy in the early start of the day and then had nothing to do, nothing planned,

and not the funds to just go and indulge in this consumerist, shop for entertainment, life out

here in the burbs. Sorry I don't mean to sound judgemental - I just wish there were some culture

out here. We do have a park nearby but it was very hot today. Crazy hot. I am finding that

with the onset of this Summer, ANY exposure to the sun seems to hurt my skin nearly right away.

I am fair but not so fair that this has happened before. It's strange.

I was hanging out at home - and I noticed the stress I was feeling, while sitting on my couch.

It didn't make sense or at least I couldn't understand it. 

I later went to my parents' home and spent time with them, which was nice, but then

I came home again, watched some of my usual shows - and then the stress while being alone

was coming back to me. I associated one concept my therapist said to me, in so many words "When

you're alone the pressure is on you to set the agenda." So maybe that's what I'm experiencing.  ?

I've been thinking today that I really would like more plants and flowers in my life...I was thinking

about taking a flower arranging course if I could find one nearby - or even an Ikebana course... 

When I lived in Canada my plants were so pampered and thrived. It was a happy charge.

I had a small bonzai tree on each of my four window sills - maybe that'd be nice to do here too.

Things are good. I hope you guys are having a good Saturday.

Sending peace, power and hugs.