Being Afraid
I am afraid, but I am also feeling much stronger tonight. Things are coming together. I talked to my ex-sociology professor/now friend and she is also afraid for me and knowing what the system can do, but strongly felt this was a vindictive action on the VP's part and said she would come to court with me, call in favors from the university law department if needed and mainly just be there for me.
When I called our psychiatrist's office, the receptionist told me the wait time for an appointment was way past our court date, but that she would take my information and talk to the group and see what they could do. As soon as they heard what was happening, they got us in for an appointment next week to prepare and also a separate block of time before the court date to completely formally reassess my son so that it would be a more up-to-date assessment and also to help him transition into the new school.
Another friend gave me the contact information for a group that specializes in the law and mediation between public schools and families with high functioning autism.
My parents are on board to give support. And I took my kids to our usual restaurant for family meetings and we talked it out. I did my best to explain the options as I know them at this point and to talk out the risks involved. My kids said they would rather see me stick to my beliefs and fight for it than to take the safer route out of fear.
So, yes, I am afraid. These are my children and someone questioning my ability to parent them and putting it before a court. My main goal at this point is the attempt to remove myself from the personal aspect enough over the coming weeks that I can do what needs to be done and to enter court in a space where I can present what needs to be presented in a calm enough manner to not look like what this VP has me looking like on his documentation.
And yes, as a side note to this, the VP did trigger me/push my buttons similar to the N and was successful in pushing me into the "crazy one" role. And yes, the entire experience has been a huge trigger from the N experience. So, I am trying to breath through it and stay centered.
When I called our psychiatrist's office, the receptionist told me the wait time for an appointment was way past our court date, but that she would take my information and talk to the group and see what they could do. As soon as they heard what was happening, they got us in for an appointment next week to prepare and also a separate block of time before the court date to completely formally reassess my son so that it would be a more up-to-date assessment and also to help him transition into the new school.
Another friend gave me the contact information for a group that specializes in the law and mediation between public schools and families with high functioning autism.
My parents are on board to give support. And I took my kids to our usual restaurant for family meetings and we talked it out. I did my best to explain the options as I know them at this point and to talk out the risks involved. My kids said they would rather see me stick to my beliefs and fight for it than to take the safer route out of fear.
So, yes, I am afraid. These are my children and someone questioning my ability to parent them and putting it before a court. My main goal at this point is the attempt to remove myself from the personal aspect enough over the coming weeks that I can do what needs to be done and to enter court in a space where I can present what needs to be presented in a calm enough manner to not look like what this VP has me looking like on his documentation.
And yes, as a side note to this, the VP did trigger me/push my buttons similar to the N and was successful in pushing me into the "crazy one" role. And yes, the entire experience has been a huge trigger from the N experience. So, I am trying to breath through it and stay centered.
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