beginning the weekend!

it's the weekend now for me.

I find myself super disciplined while at work - trying to be responsible - and on target with what I need 

to do. I've worked hard to be self responsible and to do an efficient job. Now that I came home from the market, I go through

the routine of playing with Blue, making lunch and eating and then taking a shower and dressing.

Today I decided to get coffee again at the Emil's Bakery.. I like their coffee more than Starbucks and it's cheaper. I like sitting on their patio too, at an umbrella'd table...

As I was sitting there drinking my coffee and texting with a friend, I then put the phone down

and kind of just stared off into space.

I found myself just not so present at the reality confronting me...the weekend..I have no plans

and I found it hard to make plans... At one point in my life it was easy for me to follow my nose

and just adventure on in the day... perhaps I was not so self responsible back then either  - 

anyways - after the coffee - I decided to go to the horse park - and I walked a lap of it.

I love the smells of the horses. It's a sunny and mild day and the energy there is so good.

I got into the car and then I stopped by the Trader Joe's to pick up some oatmilk - and then came home.

Again I found myself having a hard time knowing what to do with myself - almost feeling frozen in work mode

mentally- in a sense i think it's a kind of maturity in a way to me - a stage in life that I'll gladly welcome - but I kind of rolled the idea around in my head..the question of 'what I am doing' - what am I supposed to be doing...??

and I just thought - this weekend time - it's there for us - for me -  so that I don't have to worry so much

about what I should be doing...and then I calmed down a bit - the walk at the horse park was relaxing for sure and then this idea, that these days off are all about not having to worry so much about life 

acted on me like a tonic and inspiration. I'll take a nap now and maybe go for another walk later.

Things are good - I just wanted/needed to get this idea off my chest - off my mind - 

I hopped off the couch and came on here to do it.

hope you guys are having a good day.

Sending peace and good kharma!

Mark