BEEN PUNY......

Saturday, 6-20-09:  I have been really puny!  Last week-end Craig brought this nasty cold/virus/something, home.  I have been pretty puny for the last several days.  I started coming down with the "ick" on Monday.  I think I might, finally, be getting better.  I have done NOTHING for the past two days! (Except blow my nose and cough) It has been a busy week, though.  On Tuesday evening I went to a Balloon Release ceremony at Compassionate Friends.  It was very beautiful but after it was over, I just felt worse.  All the ceremony in the world can not, will not, bring my son back.   Wednesday was Scott's second angel date.  I was feeling pretty sorry for myself and lonely.  Finally, I called a good friend.  That was hard to do...reach out for help.  Anyway, she came over and got in the pool with me.  We floated and talked.  Sometimes we talked about Scott and sometimes just about "stuff".  And, so many people, including many of Scott's friends, emailed me.  Just to know they are not forgetting him means so much! On Thursday I had a doctor appointment to re-check my ankle.  It still hurts but I talked them into releasing me.  It was work comp.  Then, I ran a few errands before meeting another good friend at Subway.  I ate dinner with her but was fading fast.  I didn't visit long but came home and went to bed.  I was getting really sick. Friday and Saturday, (until a bit ago) found me sleeping, off/on, in my recliner.  I haven't done anything, I had intended to do, so far this summer break.  I have high hopes for next week.  There are certain things I MUST do in order to make myself feel better about myself.  Of course now, Craig is off three days a week.  So, that only gives me four to accomplish anything.  I just can't get things done when he is here!  At least I can upload photos, here, again.  I am dreading tomorrow.  Not only is it Father's Day, the day Scott died, but it is the 21st, the day we buried him.  I will be glad when this stretch of memories is not so intense.     

Replies

biowoman
biowoman

Ginger hugging you so tight today...I am lighting a candle for Scott...love to you...Karen
deleted_user
deleted_user

I am sooo sorry, Ginger! The \"angel date\" is horrible, as is the anniversary of the burial, the Holidays, birthdays,...any, and ALL of it! It is never-ending and will always hurt sooo much. My son\'s angel date is next month,..yesterday we went to the cemetary to chk on things, pulled weeds, etc. My whole family is there, parents, brother in law, aunts & uncles, cousins. I am the last of my immediate family. Then I noticed 2 cards and roses were left by Jamie, one from his stepdaughter who wrote in it how she missed him and that he was \"the best\" and one from his Xwife (who is remarried) telling him how much she loved him. Too little too late, but oh, it hurt me so bad that I just sobbed. Three times he left her and she promised to change, go to counseling, etc, etc,--never happened. I\'m sorry, Hon,...this is about you, not me, but we are all connected in this walk, aren\'t we?? We are not alone here, so many of us have this same pain and hole in our hearts. Tight, tight hugs! Love, Judy
BinkyH
BinkyH

I am sorry you are feeling poorly. I have had a hard time with Father\'s Day today, but with no explicable reason. My Dad has been gone for many years now. I guess the day just reminded me of the hurt that Michael had for never having known his real father, for the demise of the family unit that I once had with my ex-husband and 2 boys and also Michael will be gone for 7 months tomorrow.
Take care with that ankle! Don\'t overdo it. Hugs, Belinda
deleted_user
deleted_user

Sending hugs. Nic\'s 1st angel date is coming up, and I\'m trying really hard to not dwell on it before it\'s here, but it keeps working it\'s way into my mind. I DON\'T want to get worked up before, but it\'s hard not to. It\'s not like that\'s going to be the only day I miss him. I miss him every single moment of every single day. And I relive the day over and over again. So why do we dread \"the day\" so much? I\'m glad you got through it, and I think it\'s great that you called your friend and she came over. It helps when we just have someone to distract us or make us laugh. Glad you\'re feeling better. Keep working on those things to make yourself feel better. Love, Julia
deleted_user
deleted_user

Ginger hope you are feeling better. Those anniversaries are so hard to deal with. Love and hugs Cathy
deleted_user
deleted_user

You have a hard day coming, and I think I get it. My Dad has been gone 17 years, but I still miss him all the time. He was so wise and so full of knowledge about all of God\'s creatures, and all his plants. People hunt only to eat. When my Dad caught fish that he could not fillett, he gave them to folks at the lake.My grand kids dad\'s are dead, and I hurt for them. I hurt, I hurt, I hurt. That is about all I have tonight. I am sorry. Love,Peggy