Been awhile, same situation or worse...

Another year down since I posted last. I really need to get back in the swing of things in hopes that maybe something will help. It's an emotional roller coaster of shit for me.
After years of this I'm finally at the breaking point. I have no idea what to do anymore and hate having to wake up to a new day of pain. I just want to live a normal pain free life. Every day is a new struggle of how do I control pain. Or another day where I feel like all I do is drug myself up with medicine so I can make it through. It's fucking miserable.
My life is good don't get me wrong. My family loves me, and my husband is amazing. I'm starting school in August at the best school I could ask for. I should be overjoyed. Instead I"m more worried about how can I function through school while keeping my head above water.
I want a hysterectomy. I want it all out.
The problem is I'm fucking terrified the hysterectomy won't work then I'll be back to square one. Then what do I do? Had a heart to heart with my mom the other day about this and my medical license I got. I don't think she knew the full blown extent of the pain that I"m in. It's too much...
How am I supposed to live a normal life? Marriage? School? Work? I know I'm not supposed to give up. I know I'm supposed to keep fighting. My lighted candle for fighting this is flickering out. Way to be depressing self.