been awhile
It's been awhile since i've written, haven't had the internet. I'm living in a new town with a new boyfriend and his family. It's very difficult with my depression and anxiety disorder to be away from my comfortable surroundings. My boyfriend says to trust the situation and that everything will be okay. I want to be with him and it was difficult living 2 hours away from him so being with him is good for our relationship before he deploys in a year. I'm having a difficult time adjusting to the situation. The time I get to spend with him is wonderful, I love every minute of it. But I have a hard time getting to know new people and opening up. So during the day i'm with his mom or his brother and sister, I have nothing to say and I feel like an idiot. I don't know what to do with myself when he's not here. And helps his Dad outside a lot so i'm inside, again not really knowing what to say to them. I feel so alone. I cry at night because I miss home. I don't fit in here and I have no friends to talk to. I just don't know how to cope with it all.
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That sounds really hard hun, i\'m sorry you\'re going through this. But it sounds like they\'re understanding people and just trying to make you feel comfortable. You are probably over-thinking everything (believe me, i know how that goes) and i\'m sure they\'re not judging you they way you are judging yourself. Maybe try and bring in somethings to your room or whatever that personalizes it for you more for you. I know it\'s not the same as home but you can make it seem more like the place for you. At least you are surrounded by people that love you and your boyfriend is right, everything will be okay if you trust that it will :)