Been a while

Well, I haven't been here in a while.  I just felt a need to write though.  I've had a lot of conflicting feelings lately no doubt exacerbated by stress @ work.  Much has also changed.  I now have an adorable nephew, as of 3/20/09.  Tony & I will holiday in SF in Sept.  It's our first vacation in 6 years, & WE NEED IT.  However, I'm rapidly hemorhaging $ for a root canal, old car, tooth filling, glasses, etc.  Our lame HMO is screwing us over on Tony's eyes as well.  Argh.  Still, I'm determined NOT to cut again.  I haven't since, what, Sept.?  I have smoked a good bit lately.  My last one was yesterday.  I bought some more nicotine gum.  It's helping a bit.  I'm starting to insult myself more.  I hated gaining all that weight when I "quit" smoking in April.  I've since taken off 1/2, but I still feel like a whale.  *sigh* So, I just wanted to vent.  I won't stay away so long anymore.