beautiful morning

I went to work this morning....lost and depressed, challenged to find the answers again for the day.

Wasn't so motivated when I got to work, I felt the cold shoulder from some of my workmates

but I chose not to believe it - and sure enough - other folks were friendly and generous to my hellos

and good mornings. I chocked it up to just how some people focus intensely at work - in order to get the

job done. I get that. 

Anyways back to getting to work. It went well but I started to really think I'd like to do something else.

Something more rewarding and yet with that kind of thought - I started to become squeamish and dismissive

of my current job - thought of 'just wanting to quit!' - and I recoiled - I know I can't do that. This is about surivival

and just decided to work through the momentary mixed up depression - pushed through it - and I got back to work - focus- and got into and

just had a good day afterall! 

Then I came home, had lunch, watched some news and changed clothes and went to the office. Likewise

my sense of urgency at the office is there too - I want to do a good job for my boss - He's not there most of the time

but I don't want to goof off - and accepting the task of finding new avenues for our plans (that is my research there)

just is what it is. I am grateful for the chance and though I feel kind of lost at times there - I know I am doing a good

job - and it's a great opportunity. 

Anwyays I left a little while ago and got home - picked the mail - and thought about wanting to call my therapist.

I wanted to 'just let it all hang loose with her' - (vent)- and yet I knew I probably just wanted to socialize which would be the smarter thing for me to do... The illness/struggle can be very isolating - and to call a friend just seemed like not the good answer.

I decided to come here and vent with my support group. And PS. in my research today I found that Scientific studies

have said that online support groups are in fact a very good social connection for people struggling with mental health issues. !! yay!!

Thanks and have a good day! Namaste!!!