bdsm, or not bdsm? that is the question.
i'm feeling really good today. i don't feel burdened with doubts and worries about my relationship... tho, i know i still need to *really* get to know him, but today, i'm not worried. i'm just enjoying my day-to-day, i'm enjoying the time i get with him, i'm enjoying the communication between us.
and, to be honest, on monday, something just clicked.. he came over on his lunch break for some throat sex, as we call it, and for me, it was really special. idk exactly how to describe it. there was an element of dominance & submission, sadism & masochism... i felt very uninhibited with him, finally monday, for one thing. i was also not worried about sounding all gaggy and shit. and he finally grabbed onto my head and forced himself to stay down my throat, even when i "fought." and when i fought, he didnt let up. which was even more exciting for me... what i really liked about the experience was giving up my freedom, putting my life in his hands, more literally than figuratively.. the part that i mentioned that clicked, i think was the trust factor. afterwards i felt a wonderful buzz, a strange sort-of high. we havent talked about it yet.. i really wanna pick his brain, see all what got him excited about the whole thing, see what kind of stuff we're getting ourselves into ;) ....this is the sort of thing i was hoping we'd get into. some sort of d&s, s&m shit.. this just could be a match made in heaven. i'm so excited to see what it forms into......
and, to be honest, on monday, something just clicked.. he came over on his lunch break for some throat sex, as we call it, and for me, it was really special. idk exactly how to describe it. there was an element of dominance & submission, sadism & masochism... i felt very uninhibited with him, finally monday, for one thing. i was also not worried about sounding all gaggy and shit. and he finally grabbed onto my head and forced himself to stay down my throat, even when i "fought." and when i fought, he didnt let up. which was even more exciting for me... what i really liked about the experience was giving up my freedom, putting my life in his hands, more literally than figuratively.. the part that i mentioned that clicked, i think was the trust factor. afterwards i felt a wonderful buzz, a strange sort-of high. we havent talked about it yet.. i really wanna pick his brain, see all what got him excited about the whole thing, see what kind of stuff we're getting ourselves into ;) ....this is the sort of thing i was hoping we'd get into. some sort of d&s, s&m shit.. this just could be a match made in heaven. i'm so excited to see what it forms into......
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added May 29, 2014: well, the answer is: NOT bdsm. come to find out, he\'s not really into that after all. he just thought i was really into it, so he wanted to do it to please me. soooo, what i thought had \"clicked\" really actually hadn\'t at all.