battling the lonelies
I went out yesterday to a local pub that I've recently discovered. There's something
about pubs that I really like, but since I go alone and because I'm me - I don't feel
at ease to socialize aside from the politenesses with the server.
I like watching the soccer at times, or whatever else is on the TV.
For some reason yesterday, I realized I can go to extremes...whether it's with food, or drink,
or drilling down on ideas in my journal and life as I go... I am trying to be more aware of that blind propensity
and bring some action to the forefront..
So, I woke up this morning and just got up - showered - dressed - folded the clean laundry -
and went out to Starbucks for a coffee.
Just been hanging out while waiting to go up to Ojai to visit my bro. The lonelies have me trying to combat
them - so I decided to come on here.
I think after Ojai, I will go to the gym and workout.
Going to by some incense when up there too. We'll probably go to a vegan restaurant since my bro is a vegan
and I like vegan food. I just eat meat if it's served - so I can swing either way hehe.
Have a great day you guys!!
Peace,
Mark
Replies
I've had some super nummy vegan food. It's the vegan politicals and lectures I find hard to swallow. Excuse me, Ma'am/Sir, but I am on the gratitude diet. If I get to eat today, I'm grateful. Thanks for the grub. Spare me the preach.
Are "the lonelies" a subset of isolation? When I'm battling the painful side of isolation, I force myself to take a social risk. What would happen if you sat near enough to give yourself the option of talking to some fellow sports fans at the pub? Just wondering. . .
I don't know arfie. I feel like when I go to reach out to others in person - there's like an invisible wall in the way.
I used to be pretty comfortable talking to people (when I was young). Today I did drive up to Ojai to see my brother.
He was so peppy and friendly and today we ran into so many of his friends. I am ashamed to admit that I just became (to myself) grouchy. I don't know why that happened but I guess I was just reminded (ashamed to admit this) of the so many things my life is not. It was a nice time and I am home now and back to a comfortable place and feeling positive. I put a voicemail to my therapist asking her to call as I want to 'taco bout it'. :O) I think it's probably a good thing to be reminded of in a way since I have become so ensconced in my own boogie that I probably need to practice inter-boogy-ing with others.
Learn to appreciate and Dance boogiewonderland!!! :) hehe.
Maybe more practice will help. I'll talk to my Therapist hopefully tonight or tomorrow..
Yea, my version of all that is why I only stretch my reclusive comfort zone so far as to sit close enough to let conversation be an option. Odds are that I'll pass on the opportunity, but I somehow feel better for having considered the possibility of getting social. I've been nudging myself thusly for long enough that once or thrice I even exchanged clever repartees. I felt like the cat's meow for having been so bold.
Life is a dance we learn as we go
Sometimes we lead and sometimes we follow
Don't you worry 'bout what you don't know
Life is a dance we learn as we go ~John Michael Montgomery
Yup, maybe more practice will help.
Thanks Arfie! Xx