battles

some of the stuff going on around here is pretty darned crazy......technology was out.  computer, phones, tv.......and then the cell phone went belly up in more than one way simultaneously.  tonight i woke up at midnight......hurting and had that icy cold feeling of fear.  laid there trying to calm my rapidly beating heart.  i listened to the outside noises trying to tell if anything seemed wrong.  gradually i felt calmer, but the pain was not lessening...so i got up.  told myself to take one pain pill and watch some tv.

the battery in the remote was dead, so i had to fix that........by then i was awake awake.  now it's almost 3 am.  this is the third or fourth night in a row that i've woken up ......3 am, 4 am......ugh.  rio has taken to lying at my feet while i sit at the computer.....i guess rio is getting older too.  bless you little rio.  mia continues to be the invisi-kitty around here.  the kids have only seen her once and very briefly as she streaked from one hiding place to another.  she was so scared.  she's a kitty bigfoot......stella and bruce have never seen her either......that mia.  i don't know what happened to her that has made her so afraid of humans.  i'm her person but only when she approaches me.  she chooses when she wants to lie in my lap or cuddle close to me at night.  she pushes my hand when she wants  me to rub her neck.  she's grown up into a very pretty young lady cat, but she is still on the petite side.  still has that lovely graceful neck and Audry Hepburn look about her.  i need to learn to use the cell phone camera so i can prove to the world that she really exists.

there have been so many battles. exhausting........but i made an appt to finally go to the eye doctor next week.  i've been vain about it for way too long. telling myself i only needed readers.........the lies i tell myself are so dumb.  it took a trip to the library to get the message through to my stubborn silly self.  i realized that i needed the large print versions of books plus my strongest readers to READ.  i'm embarrassed to admit that to you and to me......but i'm getting real about it plus i know i need to see the eyes doc since i have sjogren's syndrome.  so glasses will be next up on the horizon.  it would be nice to have them by the end of this month! 

with all of my technology not working i read one of those big print library books. what a wonderful day that was.......nose buried in an intriguing novel again.......the joy of reading coupled with all the evidence before me ......a big basket of unread magazines, several novels i've put off for way to long, because i didn't want to think about the necessity of glasses.  ......so dumb.  i wore glasses or contacts until my late 30's, early 40's.......had lasik eye surgery and then had 20/20 vision for a very long time.  but now it's time for bi or tri or who knows how many focals will be needed......they may even throw in a couple of seeing eye pets in the mix! 

boy could i use a massage on my neck and shoulders........i felt pretty good by afternoon, so i vacuumed and dusted, tidied and chored my tail off......dishes and clothes and trash to the curb.  felt like a really real house wife, not a vacuous rich witch, but someone who DOES not divas. wow, that sounded kind of mean.......what's that all about? 

can a single divorced female be a housewife?  i'm saying yes cause i can, but perhaps it's not exactly true.  today stella called to remind me that she sent me an invitation to her birthday party on Saturday at 8.  there was no invitation in my inbox........hmmm.  so i sent her a message saying i didn't get the invite.  i don't know if it's a dress up affair, if it's dinner.......the details.  but we'll see.  if i feel decent by friday i'll try to find her a thoughtful gift.........something not practical but pretty.  hmmmm, gotta give that some thought.  any ideas? 

i need to try to go back to sleep.  i  finally took a pain pill and that's lifted some of the edge off the pain.  i lost 15 pounds ......yay.  and then got stuck again.......for the last week nothing was budging.  but i'll hang in there, i will lose that prednisone weight......i will!  this is me telling those pounds that they have got to move on, give up and surrender.  i will be the big winner of this battle.  i worked so hard last time to lose weight only to regain it because of that stinking prednisone.  but if i can do it once i can do it again.  getting a lot of my spirit and spunk back since the cpap help followed by the spinal help.......every step makes things better!

Ruth .......quit typing and GO TO BED!  when i was growing up in Iowa every night at 10 pm there was an announcement on the TV.....it said, "Parents do you know where you children are?".  Very simple and direct.  Years later my Mom cut out a cartoon from the paper.....it showed a pregnant lady watching TV....the announcement appeared "Parents do you know where your children are?".....she looked down at her ever growing belly with a funny puzzled look on her face.  It may lose something the way I tell it, but it made me laugh......it meant that my Mom was having a good day.....doing something normal in care of sharing that funny with me.  anyway, good night, sleep tight and don't let the bed bugs bite.