Barely Ate Today

I'm wondering if I'm starting to become anorexic again... I barely ate anything today (a piece of chicken and some coffee) so far, and I didn't have anything for lunch. I'm just not hungry when I should be eating. I'm going to try and get more food in me for dinner tonight, eating both pieces of chicken, half a cup of corn and a yogurt for desert. I don't feel depressed or stressed out or anything that would make me not want to eat. I don't know what to think. When I was anorexic before, I would starve myself on purpose, and now I'm just not hungry. I think this phase will pass. I hope it does. I'm going to see my mom in a couple days and I think I will eat better there. I will probably have trouble being over my calorie range. It's just that I'm lazy, I think. I don't want to make food, so I don't want to eat it. Although this morning I had my chicken cooked and ready to eat and I had to force that down. It just didn't seem appetizing to me.
Other than not eating, I had a good day today. I finished all the work that they wanted me to do in Managed Care and they were impressed at how fast I schedule appointments. I don't see how I'm any faster than anyone else... all you have to do is make appointments. I can't see how that would take so long. I mean, other than being on hold for forever. But I have no control over that, and neither does anyone else who makes appointments. -shrugs- I just don't know. Maybe they are talking to other people all the time and not focusing on work. I hope I'm not doing too good of a job and making others look bad. After I finished all my work in Managed Care, they let me go back to the information desk to help out there. I had some fun sitting there and talking to my old boss.
Mood was good today. I'm still showing some signs of akathesia, but other than that I'm good. My feet still want to play footsie all the time, but my legs aren't shaking. I don't know what I can do about my feet. I wish I could see my psychiatrist for a lower cost, but I can't. I want a medication change. I guess I would go back to the Depakote and just take the dose I know is safe and stop the Neurontin. I was fine before I got on Neurontin, and so I blame that. But overall I feel much better with my legs. I was happy to go to the information desk today and work a bit there. I'm looking forward to go see my mom and all that.
I'm also looking forward to tomorrow, when we have our Christmas party for work. I'm probably going to go a bit later, since it starts at 11 and that's early for me. We will see. I'm going to try and go to bed early tonight so I can wake up early enough to get to the party. It ends at 1pm, but I should be able to get there by noon. I would like to get there on time, though. I don't know if it's just a party for volunteers or what, but I'm just happy that there's going to be a party. I love parties and getting to know more people. I am a social person when I want to be. Sometimes I just want to be left alone, but those times are few and far between. If anything, I just would want to be alone with Geo. I hope the food is good tomorrow so I can meet my calories for the day.
Food today was bad again... I'm under 900 calories even if I eat both pieces of chicken and the yogurt. I think not having lunch is what killed me. I did have a Snicker's mini bar and a cookie, but that's all I ate in the middle of the day. Oh, I forgot I drank Gatorade today, so let me go put that in and see what my calorie count would be now. Okay, with the Gatorade I'm good. I'm at around 1,300 calories, right where I want to be. I'm good on carbohydrates, too, since Gatorade is loaded with sugar. It's been a while since I made my carbohydrate goal. I just normally eat a lot of other stuff. Chicken doesn't have carbohydrates in it, and I mostly eat chicken, so that's why I'm low on carbs all the time. Stress today was low.... I was just so happy to hear that my bosses were proud of me. I don't know why other people are so slow in making appointments, but I do what I can. Sleep last night was good... I woke up before my alarm and took a nice long shower since I had the extra time. I used up all the hot water lol. I got about 13 hours of sleep last night, with some breaks in between. Mood has been good, and I'm glad that I'm feeling better.