Ballet

I love ballet...especially when it's set to modern music. I found a video today on facebook I posted of 2 dancers paying tribute to the 40th anniversary of Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody. It is beautiful and Queen is one of my favorite bands of all time and I believe Freddie Mercury had the most amazing voice. I never realized, though, what a sad song it is.
The lyrics just hit too close to home...Oh Cassi...your life had just begun...so much potential...a brand new college degree, she'd lost 80 pounds, she had gone 2 years straight vegetarian (She was an animal lover). Supportive parents...in every way...maybe Mom nagged too much, but still. Gosh, we were supposed to see Elton John together the very next month...and she has missed out on so much.
How is it, nearly 2 years on I still wonder..."How the hell did this happen?" She worked so hard to reach her goals...just to throw it all away??? She had a bad day. Period. Yes, she had thought about it, too much, way too much, but I didn't think she'd actually kill herself. Two days before she had been in good spirits...then she had a bad day, no sleep the night before, it pushed her over the edge.
So sad, such a waste...her pain is over now, mine feels insurmountable...right now anyway, but I have my faith, and this too shall pass.

Replies

Abotsd
Abotsd

How can we understand what happened, when it should not have happened, and it hurts so badly! Unbelieveable that she took her own life, you know, very well, it\'s illness. The brain just explodes with pain. No way to know this is going on......if only we knew before hand, we\'d have moved heaven and earth to keep our beloved children alive. It\' s almost 6 years for me, and I am just so sad these days, I can\'t seem to get out of bed.

That we continue to survive is a miracle, and that we grieve so much we can\'t do anything about it. Except, tell one another, that this too, shall pass. holding hands, Abby
RememberKala
RememberKala

Kala had fought a long, hard battle with depression and had won. We were \"home free\". Nothing but good times ahead. Then BAM, fucking car accident steals my child and all her dreams....all of our dreams. I still scream, \"IT\'S NOT FAIR!!!!\" The timing was just so damn crazy. Even the timing for when she attempted to end her pain was crazy! She was home, no longer living in that crazy, f\'d up household of her dad\'s. Why did she choose then to try to end it all????? NO answers. Then, after making it through all the shit, all the therapy, and winning her battle.....she\'s gone. For us, it was Rascal Flatts that we were all set to go see.

No, I don\'t know YOUR pain.....but I do know pain. And this pain that we both know so intimately, well, it hurts beyond description.

I love you. And I love Cassi. And I love Kala.
saltwatercowgirl
saltwatercowgirl

It will never make sense to me....I will never understand....and in that lies the struggle to accept what is, what happened and where I am now......SIGH....My heart hurts, it\'s not fair......(((((hugs to you Gina))))) Vicki
JeanCarlin
JeanCarlin

My heart goes out to you!
HUGS
MomofJosh
MomofJosh

I wish I had answers, I wish we all did... Just feel my hand holding yours as we journey along this path.
Missinglisa
Missinglisa

Oh Gina. I hear you. We will never understand why people make the decisions they do. You are absolutely right. She had so much more living to do.
Walking this road with you.
Wishing you love and peace. Hugs, M
PLA58
PLA58

I have come to the conclusion we are not to know. My son was recovering from being under the weather, feeling much better. Leaving my house after taste testing what I was cooking, went home to deliver his Christmas present for Tara. The next day he was gone from this earth.

This road is a hard one, we have each other for navigation.
tightest of hugs
Penny