bad stuff
just to let everyone know... a family friend was taken to the ER this morning. He has been in a coma ever since and is not acspected to live. When he was a child he was in a major accident and was left with the use of half of one kidney. Well, we did not know that, so whenever he would drink it did not seem like a big deal. It was. His liver is shutting down and he is very jaunduce. I may not be on for a while.His name is Logan. and he is only 35.
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hey...
what to say, at a time like this? \"sorry\" just falls so short of how i really feel. i wish i could be there for you and your family. are you at the hospital now? it\'s got to be incredibly hard to see a loved one in a coma. was your family able to talk to him before he slipped into a coma? just hoping for some closure for you all...
my dad was conscious till the end of his life, but it took him 8 months to let go. i know you might be wondering why in God\'s name i\'m bringing this up right now. well, even before he died, what helped me to stay strong, was knowing that IF he died, it would be better, for HIM, because the quality of his life was not what HE would want. it was very painful to see his decline, but once i shifted the focus off of ME, and what i was going to feel IF he died, of how JOANNA was going to cope... once i let go of MY feelings... it became a lot easier. NOT EASY, but a lot easier to let him go. it was a catalyst for closure.
i don\'t know your family member. yet i feel incredibly sad that he is so young. hopefully he didn\'t waste his life, so that is something you can think about. his accomplishments - knowing that these don\'t have to be HUGE or grandiose. the biggest accomplishments are usually the simplest things. also too, like i mentioned in the previous paragraph, try to ask yourself if your loved one would REALLY enjoy life in his current condition. obviously, i don\'t know the answer, but sometimes the most comfortable thing for THEM, is to stop the pain and hurting. is he on dialysis?
i understand your grief. i truly do. yet, even could i take all of it from you, or some of it... i would not. callous? cruel? maybe. but, i speak from MY experience, that your grief is what WILL get you through this sad time - whatever the outcome. because it is a grief TEMPERED BY LOVE - of his life, of what he stood for, of what he brought to those around him.
one last thing. please let yourself feel, Keith. don\'t hold in the emotions. don\'t tell those around you that you\'re ok, IF you\'re not. be as truthful as you can. Logan deserves that much from you.
ALWAYS here for you,
Jo
ps: i hope what i said was ok, and not offensive or upsetting. it was from a place of love.
I am adding an up date: Logan has stabilized. He has not woken up yet, but he is at least doing better. The doctors are now giving him a chance at pulling through. Thank you for everything you\'ve said jo...Now how about this truth:
When he wakes up, i\'m getting his keys and throwing away every bottle of booze he owns!!!
THAT\'S GREAT NEWS!! i\'m so happy for him, and for you all. yes, no more booze will be a good thing for him; you\'re such a good friend to look out for him like that. i hope to hear more good updates.
how are YOU doing, Keith? make sure to take care of yourself, or you won\'t be ANY use to him when he wakes up... hang in there...
hugs,
Jo