Bad Start but then Nice Weekend

Friday I came home and just got so overwhelmed, Scrappy would not eat.  I just went into the bedroom and cried......jamie came in whith his supper.  Didnt say anything, didnt reach out to me, nothing!  Then I got up and tried to feed scrappy again, I got frustrated b/c jarah kept pushing in so I got mad and put her in th ebedroom and closed the door.  Maybe about 15 minutes later after realizing obviously scrappy is not going to eat I go into the room to let jarah out and see wtf he was doing....cause he sure as hell wasnt out in the kitchen helping me!  I go in th eroom and he is in bed, under the covers, glasses off to sleep............Well needless to say that did not go over well.  He knew I was crying and I had just had too much.  So instead of trying to help me, or be there for me or anything his fucking ass is in bed!  I lost it, my breaking point...are you fucking kidding.  so now I get to add disgust and disappointed to my already overwhelming list of shit to deal with AND cant even rely on the person who is supposed to be there for me.  THen what does he do to try and "make up for it" besides the useless "Im sorrys" he sits on the bed next to me, doesnt touch me to connect, doesnt say anything just sits there.  He said he was there in case i wanted to talk........Wow

Buit then the weekend, was actually kinda nice so its so weird to go from one extreme to another.  We were supposed to go to Jamie's parents but his mom had a headache so instead we took the dogs and went to Bronte Provincial for a nice hike.  It was kinda warm but we were in the shade the majority of the time so it was really nice.  We stopped at the creek and I took my shoes and socks off and walked out to a big rock in the middle.  Jamie eventually came in with shoes and socks, it was really nice.  Then he started splashing the dogs and playing with them....it was amazing!  It was just perfect!  That will be one of those things I think of in times that are not that great.  And I think Samantha would have been happy this is what we were doing on her DOD.  B/c it was sooo hard to get up that morning.

Sunday mroning, mom and i started playing mario bros together and it was sooo fun.  And dad and Jamie were there and we were all laughing so much.  then even jamie tried to play mario bros with me.  None of us are much good at it but omg so funny.  My parents went to the 50th Anniversary Yellow SUb thing and had loads of fun, then even snuck into Jurassic world...lol.  So over all I think we all did really good this weekend and I just hope Samantha is proud of us for making it thru these bad days.  My bad day is tomorrow and Im scared im not going to do well....I will do my best for Samantha!