Bad mood not improving

It's coming to the end of my first university year. 
This was something he was supposed to share with me. We would have shared our day. I'd see his guitar building. He would see my illustration.
He could see my first book and be proud that I had finally done it. Like he said.
Soon I'll have my first birthday without him too.
 
I'm lonely. And I am not hopeful that anyone can take that away right now.