Bad day today

first day at my new job - should be staying positive and optimistic but couldn't shake the feelings of anxiety today. Just general nerves, fighting panic all day. Suddenly started thinking of some of my relatives that have passed and the anxiety set in. Once I get passed a certain point it's like I can't stop. I feel hormonal like crying for basically no reason or things that are completely out of my control. Need to practice understanding and accepting what I cannot control. This job is intimidating but I can do it, I know I can. I am going to try no I'm not going to let my anxiety take it away from me. I can't let my anxiety win.