bad call w/ boyfreind sat oct 1,2011 11.30 p.m.

well i was feeling ok till called b.f. he wasin a mood, i dont know why i even bother. he knows how to make me feel bad better than anyone els. he is such a (cant think of word means everything revolves around you, its a clinacal word ok, illl get it hold on no thats not it, its not masaganistic, thats not it,ya know ill think of it in the middle of the night or tommorow. this happens all the time w/ me. memory so bad had it one min ago but now no gone. so im allmost OUT of pain pills and i listen to his shit. i dont ned it at all. sorry if i ruiened his life by taking a big and terrible fall and how could i be so broke up? its realy cramping his ME ME ME ME ME THING. OH WELL IM ON SOME PAIN PILLS NOW. think ill stay up for a while and watch cable or a jmovie, who knows. ok, well its just not fun. maybe no call him tommorow, serve him right. but im not that smart.... till tommorow....