Backwards? Forwards? Marching In Place?
Good morning Fred: I finally got to sleep a little after 5 A.M. this morning. I've just about finished my first cup of coffee & am starting to come alive again. My guess is that I was "sleepless in Idaho Falls" because I chose not to take the muscle relaxant & pain pills the doctor has given me. I finally did break down about 4:30 & took a muscle relaxant. I am not sure which is the bigger problem..... taking the medication each night or not sleeping. It worries me that I do not sleep without the meds.
Just like when you lose weight it seems you make a little progress & then you hit a plateau where you become stuck in a rut, it seems I have done this with dealing with the loss of Nick. In thinking things over I realized that during the time I was seeming to move forward I was writing in the journal here at DS, writing another journal at home, keeping a "Daily Book" to record all the things I did during each day and listing 3 things I felt grateful for.
I thought I would try returning to these basic things to see if I can end the rut I seem stuck in. I have done a lot of healing but more is required if I am going to live a full life. It feels like I am two people living in one body. The positive side of me can think of things to try, things I need to be doing & many many things I am grateful for. The negative side of me is filled with depression and the thoughts of "Why bother?", "Nothing really matters now.". You get the idea. I am hoping that by returning to writing here & at home I will refocus on the positive part of myself.
Wish me luck, Fred. Thank you for listening to my thought.
9/6/13 Darlene
Just like when you lose weight it seems you make a little progress & then you hit a plateau where you become stuck in a rut, it seems I have done this with dealing with the loss of Nick. In thinking things over I realized that during the time I was seeming to move forward I was writing in the journal here at DS, writing another journal at home, keeping a "Daily Book" to record all the things I did during each day and listing 3 things I felt grateful for.
I thought I would try returning to these basic things to see if I can end the rut I seem stuck in. I have done a lot of healing but more is required if I am going to live a full life. It feels like I am two people living in one body. The positive side of me can think of things to try, things I need to be doing & many many things I am grateful for. The negative side of me is filled with depression and the thoughts of "Why bother?", "Nothing really matters now.". You get the idea. I am hoping that by returning to writing here & at home I will refocus on the positive part of myself.
Wish me luck, Fred. Thank you for listening to my thought.
9/6/13 Darlene
Replies
Love you, Darleen. I know it takes vigilance on my part to keep the healing progressing. Miss you my friend.
Sending you love and wishing you find your own way back to healing. I hope your being here and sharing what you are going through will give you the comfort and clarity you need at this time. I miss you and I\'m here for you if you need me. Take care and have faith, that healing is taking place even if sometimes it does not feel like it is. Hugs! Connie