Back on YT at last...but these (cuckoo) nightmares...
Dear DS diary,
This is short as journals go, but I don't really have that much to say.
So last night I decided to put up some gameplay of NES Balloon Fight on the Tube:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a3daNeAMLZg
If you look at it, it's actually pretty funny how I go splash on the first screen making one flap too few trying to dunk the last enemy: "Hey everyone, let's go for a swim together!" LOL
Now, less than 12 hours later, I wish I could mess around with possibilities in my room...maybe I have to copy my emulators, etc., over to my flash drive to make that possible, because...
...ugh, these nightmares. If it seems like I've been more irritable lately, you're not dreaming, I HATE WAKING UP AT 4AM WITH THESE THINGS!
I got haunted by my smoke bomb nightmare, again. This time I dreamed that one went off at the Topsfield Fair, a major agricultural event, that my parents would like to go down to on Thursday. It pretty much went down the same way as the others, ending with the same destruction and chaos that often haunts even my waking hours.
Clearly, with me and exposure, it's only getting harder and harder; the signs are obvious that I don't feel safe anymore, anywhere. Maybe it's acting as a clue that I can't be a social butterfly and need to pretty much choose my company? Idk...
This is short as journals go, but I don't really have that much to say.
So last night I decided to put up some gameplay of NES Balloon Fight on the Tube:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a3daNeAMLZg
If you look at it, it's actually pretty funny how I go splash on the first screen making one flap too few trying to dunk the last enemy: "Hey everyone, let's go for a swim together!" LOL
Now, less than 12 hours later, I wish I could mess around with possibilities in my room...maybe I have to copy my emulators, etc., over to my flash drive to make that possible, because...
...ugh, these nightmares. If it seems like I've been more irritable lately, you're not dreaming, I HATE WAKING UP AT 4AM WITH THESE THINGS!
I got haunted by my smoke bomb nightmare, again. This time I dreamed that one went off at the Topsfield Fair, a major agricultural event, that my parents would like to go down to on Thursday. It pretty much went down the same way as the others, ending with the same destruction and chaos that often haunts even my waking hours.
Clearly, with me and exposure, it's only getting harder and harder; the signs are obvious that I don't feel safe anymore, anywhere. Maybe it's acting as a clue that I can't be a social butterfly and need to pretty much choose my company? Idk...
Replies
I am so sorry you are having these nightmares and waking up so early. You must feel so worn down from lack of sleep. And it is reasonable that you would be more irritated. Lack of sleep plays games with our minds. I just wish you didn\'t have to live in fear all the time. It is hard to enjoy life when you are feeling this way. I am glad that you have games to help with some of the tension.....at least I hope they are helping to distract you a little from your other thoughts in your head. I lately have been playing the Sims 4 a lot to distract me. I was doing more reading but seem to be back to the no concentration level or it seems like too much work to read.
I wish there was some way I could help you to feel more solid and less fearful.
You are a terrific friend to have!!!!
((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))
I\'m also so sorry to hear you\'re having these awful nightmares and are so sleep deprived. Like Mystie said, lack of restful sleep can make us pretty irritable at the least:(:(
You don\'t have to be a social butterfly, if you can get comfy with just a very few people that\'s better than knowing many but not being able to trust any of them. I\'d much rather have just 2-3 that I could trust and be myself with than a roomful of others, but, that\'s just me. You and Mystie are the kind of friends I\'m referring to.
Glad you have your games to help distract you
I don\'t know why life hands us such a lousy road to travel but we have to keep trying. Something has to get at least a little bit better!!!!
Take gentle care and I\'m sending you some peace with the hope today will be a better one for you!!!
((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))