Back at zero.

I hurt myself a lot today. Well not severely. But, I got mad at myself a lot and hit my hand against the headboard of my bed. That is a strong wooden headboard and I made my hand red and in pain. But, I didn't punch myself at all. This is a lot harder than I thought it would be. I haven't been doing this for a long time. But, it sort of calms me down for a while and I just start punching myself again. But, today I thought I would make my hand bleed, I guess I didn't. I tried not to do it hard and tried not to break any bones in my hand. I succeeded in that, but I wish I didn't do this at all. I don't know what made me start hitting myself or hitting myself against other objects. But, I just want to stop and I'm trying really hard. Maybe I have to try to get over other stuff before trying to not hurt myself. I guess I'll just try to think of something later I guess. :S