Back at it again! Ugh

Well, last weekend was the kicker.  The place I have gone to with a friend now has new management, and the

slot machines don't pay off like they used to... I have won jackpots there and that is what draws me back.  But - this time I couldn't win anything, and felt so frustrated trying to make things happen.. I felt so ashamed that I had allowed this to

take over once again.  My friend didn't have luck either and we consoled eachother on the 3 hour ride home.   Of course we were rationalizing all of it..

Over the years I've been off and on with gambling, and I do accept that I have a problem with it.  But - I've never really wanted to stop forever... so I kept going back.   I'm sure this is a story for many of us, but anyway, I'm pretty disgusted

with myself this week and now I can say that I haven't gambled for what is now the 6th day.  I want to keep it up and will start posting in this journal again since I had succcess with this kind of accountability in the past.  Ty for reading  Years ago I had met many supportive people on this site, and hope to again - we can help eachother!