Baby Steps Day 2

Today I started the day by having a shower which is a luxury most mornings when I have to get my son ready for school and dressed in clothes that made me feel good including nice underwear. I even put nail polish on.I had an hour to spare before a doctor's appointment and treated myself to a coffee and cake at a restaurant. I don't like sitting at a table by myself and always felt this is something to be shared with a boyfriend or partner. But I did it and it was actually quite uplifting.At the doctors, which was to discuss contraception, I was honest about my relationship ending and how I wanted to leave making a decision for now. In the past I would have found it hard to be honest about this sort of thing and may even have resorted to having the procedure just to avoid telling the truth. I have grown enough now to know that I don't want to do anything to jeopordise my current health.I saw the guy I met at the beach yesterday when I was stopped at the traffic lights and he came over and said hi and asked me to contact him. I acted playfully, but didn't let myself get pressured as I would have in the past.At the supermarket, I spoke up when I realised the total didn't look correct. The operator had put in 52 baguettes instead of the two that I bought. When I got home, I found out that my sister had tagged more childhood photos of me, in some of which I llooked quite unattractive. I rang her and asked her to not do it anymore as I didn't want those pictures on my Facebook page.When I told my mum on Wednesday that my aunt was visiting, my mum said not to fall for her tricks and cook for her. I thought about it and felt that I would like to be able to offer a meal if the timing was appropriate and I prepared a simple meal which could be lunch or dinner today. It is my home and if I want to be hospitable, then I will whatever my mum says. I finished the "Women who love too much" by Robin Norwood yesterday. I think the book is going to change my life. I discovered that the process I had started about an year ago to distance myself from my family, to let go of needing to control everyone, to feel pain, to value myself more all with the help of a really good therapist had already begun healing me. The bit I was missing was to recognise the old pattern of behaviour where I put my needs last once I was in a relationship. I can see it more clearly now and each minute I spend thinking of my relationship that just ended gives me new insight into what I was doing.