baby steps

Ok, well I'm not exactly on track with my eating. I had good intentions. Started out with a slice of cheese for breakfast and a peach. Then had 2 slices of toast. Then for dinner/lunch I had some pot roast on bread with 1/3 of a sweet potato. Very appropriate portions and I was fully satisfied. Then my son wanted me to take him to the Sugar Shack. He bought us each 2 donuts and I ate them both. I don't know why I do that.  I just want to slap myself sometimes. I was doing perfectly fine and then I blow it with double donuts. I haven't done any exercise either, except cleaning my moms house. Right now a good portion of my life is taking care of my mom and bro, picking up my grandbabies, taking my son to do all his stuff(drug testing and getting stuff ready for school), that I just get overwhelmed. I want a day to just lay in bed and work on my writing or take a walk on the beach (if I can still even walk on the beach).In my own defense, I did do a couple of things for me today. I called Curves and got the info on their hours and such and I have an appt. to go thursday and sign up. Tomorrow and wednesday my days are booked. Thursday is the first chance I will have to do it. Then I plan to just leave early from my moms in time to do Curves just before I have to go pick up my grandbabies. I think that will be easy to make it a habit.The second thing I did was call another bariatric center of excellence about getting my surgery done. The place I had planned to go had me scheduled for last january then kept moving it back and now they're saying October. First their center of excellence certificate expired, then they lost both of their surgeons. They say they hired a new surgeon, but she is not center of excellence certified which makes my insurance void. They say she might be able to get certified by october then they can start scheduling surgeries. This other place I called is COE certified and so is the surgeon. The nurse said he has done over 2000 surgeries and that he done her surgery 10 years ago and he has done 9 of her family members. He said it was the best thing she ever done and it has changed her life. So I have an appt now set for mid sept. It was the earliest they had available. I also asked about the complication rate and she said they have had one death that was due to a blood clot. Those odds sound pretty good to me. So I'm proud of myself for not continuing to sit around and wait all this time and finally doing something to get the ball rolling. I also called the first center and had my medical records faxed to the new place. I'm feeling content with my decision to move forward instead of waiting for the other guys to get their act together. I prayed and asked God to open doors where he wanted me to go and close doors where he didn't want me to go, so I'm satisfied that this new place is where I was meant to go.I'm going to try to talk myself into doing the treadmill tonight, but honestly I'm not feeling it. I think I feel like I'm giving everything to everyone else and just don't have anything left for me. I'm working on getting past that, but for now I think I just want to go to my room and read and maybe work on chapter 4 of my manuscript. This won't last forever. Soon my brother will recover completely and be able to take over his duties again. Then I will only have to go over a couple times a week. Also in September I will start school and I'm so excited about it. Again, please leave comments. Your words of encouragement keep me at least wanting to work on myself.