Awful. Then ok. Then awful.

 
Yesterday was ...perfect. I felt Normal all day, and my DH brought flowers for my daughter and I and we went out to dinner. It was perfect.
Today....woke up at 5; feeling oh..kay. Spent 40 minutes doing the breathing technique for calming down, then I started to get shaky. Luckily, my DH was also awake. It's now 9:15 and I still am teetering on the edge. There are just too many symptoms: stomach rolling, achy, achy neck and shoulders, headaches, dizziness, fatigue, shakiness, and that twinge of anxiety/fear. I'm trying to alternately fight it and accept it.  One minute I think I got a hold of it, the next....I'm slipping. I start to feel like I'm going to have a seizure or a panic attack, then no...wait..I got a hold of it again.
Oh, Goddess, I'm so TIRED...and I'm so TIRED of THIS. Somebody PLEASE make it stop. Make the headaches and the stomach upset and the soreness and the dizziness and the shakes and the anxiety and the fear ... and ALL of it...go away.
I want to be reliable and dependable again, not only as a wife, friend and mother, but as a member of society as well as to myself. I want to have relationships. I want my days to be spent on using the gifts I was given to create art that makes people smile. I want to work on the many ideas I have, and be able to look back and say that not only was I a wife and mother, but I accomplished these other things as well.
Nowadays, it's a big deal if I can just get the laundry and the dinner done. Yesterday, I did one errand. It was amazing; I did something Normal. I did something other than lay on the couch crying and moaning...all day...for days.
I need it to stop. I want to enjoy my life, my family, my environment. I want to live again.