Away

I'm sorry I've been gone. I haven't felt like being on the computer and I just want to sleep all day. Plus the car is broken (hopefully fixed tomorrow) and Geo and I have to take the bus everywhere and it just drains me.I haven't been volunteering, I just sleep all day and night. Last week I started falling asleep easier and didn't take any sleeping pills (I normally take 150 mg Trazadone and 2 mg Klonopin) and ended up in Klonopin withdrawal. That wore me out even more. I started taking it again and I feel much better. I don't know if I had given up hope... Maybe I did. I didn't want to do anything, I didn't want to go anywhere... just sleep. I can't say I'm better now. I can't even say I'm ready to fight. I just need to get myself together and reach out for help. 

 I'm getting ready emotionally for Geo to be gone for 11 days and it's hard. I'm going to miss him, and my therapist and I are working together to get me through it. My boss says I can come in anytime and spend as much time as I want there (she's so nice to me... I haven't been there in 2 weeks and she hasn't said anything bad about it. It's volunteer, not real work, but I try to stick to a schedule). I don't think I'm stable enough to lead the voter registration thing, but I'm going to try to. I need to make a schedule so I don't get too depressed. My biggest fear is being hospitalized. I'm trying to build a support system with friends... I met a new friend on the bus- We talked one day for a while, then a couple days later I ran into her again and we got off at the same stop and started talking again. She said that sometimes there's a reason that people meet and asked for my phone number. I'm going to call her in a bit, once I'm done with the computer. Maybe that's the good side of the car being broken.