August- Geo goes on vacation tomorrow.
The only thing going on for me in August is Geo going to Oregon tomorrow. He doesn't get back until the 13th and that's a long way away for me. I'm going to focus on going to the gym, volunteering, and spending time with my in laws. My little sister in law, Grace, is 6 and I love playing with her. Hopefully spending time with his family is going to be good for me. I just need to keep myself busy.
Last time Geo was gone (for 3 days) I got brainwashed into leaving him. I was in a cult, and summer is the time when I'm most vulnerable, and my "friend" Liz convinced me he was physically abusive (which he has never been) and that I needed to leave him. We packed up my stuff and I took it all (including my cat) to her house. I went to therapy on the day Geo returned and on the way home took the paper to break our lease. I got home and Geo told me to just talk to him and that we could work it out. We talked, and I showed him the list Liz made of reasons for me to leave him. When he got to the one that said physical abuse he started crying. He has always respected me and he has this fear of physically hurting me. If he accidentally hurts me, he starts crying. When I told Liz that I was getting back with him, she was pissed and refused to go anywhere near him. So getting my stuff back was a challenge, but eventually I got my stuff and I'm not going to do that again. But I tend to get in trouble when he is not around so I'm going to try and keep myself as busy as possible to get through the time.
Replies
What does your therapist think about your relationship with Geo? Space can be great..gives you time to focus on you, and miss the ones you love, and appreciate them more when they get back. Den and I would never vacation alone but if he were out of town for a bit I think I could see the positive..when your so attached to a person it can cause issues as well. I remember that when I was young..never wanted to be without my boyfriend..coudlnt just be "me"..once I found myself..wow what a change that is. Good Luck.
hi larissa, i really like what N79 said, i know it has been hard for you to be along, however it is a perfect time to focus on you, dig into yourself, discover why you feel you cant be alone and feel unsafe. it took me awhile after peter died and sure i do get lonely still, but i had to find ways to occupy myself esp after children were gone. it sounds like you have a good plan set up to keep busy. it will be good to go and volunteer more, have you made any friends there or at the gym? i remember your supposed friend liz, you now know better and wont be sucked in. make a list of all the cons of the cult post it and read it. i am so sorry about last night, i was away and had forgotten my charger, got your message and i hope you areokay. so sorry. love ann
Your plan for keeping busy sounds good. I like what N79 said and Ann54. Maybe, keep a list of things you and Geo have in common and why you love him. That can help you keep away from bad influences. If you still have the list liz gave you then maybe, look it over and write down next to all her negatives why they are wrong (not true). The time might go faster than you think if you are with your in laws at the gym and volunteering. sounds like a busy schedule to me.
i remember that. glad he handled it so well and that all worked out later on. what cult are you in? i know there are a lot of those around, some legit and some are those "secret" societies and they ask for 6% of your money for life. creepy. leah remini wrote a memoir outing the scientologists. its a really fun read. lol. she's the one that was in king of queens and grew up in it. also the one that plays paige in the show charmed grew up in a cult, don't know if she wrote anything yet. takes guts to out an entire group.
best of luck with going solo. glad you are okay. xx