August
Hello SOTH - it seems like I'm not here as much as I would like - I was able to log on tonite with no difficulty, yet other times, I'm unable to. I am going through a lonely time when I'm not able to log on - I miss you sisters of the heart - when I'm not able to be here often!
Yesterday I went to a credit union to open up a checking account where I have a savings account established. As I was sitting @ the desk, I noticed the lady who was helping me was named Jennifer. I smiled. As she was making sure all of my documents were still current, she said, you show 2 beneficaries - Jennifer A. Cox & Jim Ozias. I caught myself, stared at her as tears welled up and I said, Jennifer is no longer on this earth - she immediately began to say "im sorry" 3 or 4 times as I attempted to pull myself together telling her, my tears are not your fault... she had no way of knowing. It was a weird experience with her name being Jennifer and there I sat....I don't know....but that took me awhile to breathe again....remember when was where I stayed for awhile...SIGH
Today was my first day back @ work after being off for 7 weeks - I'm @ work 9 days before kids start so it's phone calls, immunizations for new students, medications, staff training, etc. I was really busy today and now I'm tired this evening. ( should not have stayed up so late watchiing TV)....It feels good to be back busy - sometimes my mind is not my friend. Hunter is doing well - Bryn has been reviewing his transcripts (he is a Jr in High School) and they don't look too bad. Bryn was @ a concert about 60 miles away from the high school Hunter will be attending and she noticed a Booster Club for band for Ramona High School - she thought it was for Ramona HS in Irvine, howevver it turned out to be Ramona in Riverside where Hunter will be attending....Hunter loves music and is teaching himself to play electric guitar & has done really well playing the ukele....anyway after Bryn talked with the Band Director, they were looking for students to play the Baritone this year for their competition in Hawaii in April!!!! I call it a God wink - Hunter will be going to band camp beginning next week - he will have two classes/ band & orchestra this year. He seemed excited to learn and of course visiting that aloha state sounds fun....so I'm hopeful he will have a good year. He is totally into Pokemon Go which I tried and got tired of walking looking for those damn Pokemon's. LOL - I'm not sure what to do if I find one...hahahaha
August is a tough month for me - my birthday, my dad's birthday the day after mine and my Jennifer's birthday....alot of memories, alot of tears but thankful for those memories and so thankful for my Jennifer. Well, sisters, it's time for me to water the plants outside and then try to get to sleep early as 5:15 comes early in the morning. Hugs and more hugs!!!!!
Replies
I'm glad to hear that you are well, and doing okay! Yes, it is good to stay busy, then our thoughts are focussed and not wondering off...... Music is a wonderful "language" to express our feelings in, and empty all our bottled up emotions!! Sounds like Hunter is doing really well! When our loved ones are happy and okay, then we are also fine! Take good care of yourself, dear sister!
Warm hugs! xxx
Oh Vicki, this journey has so many twists and turns. One of the hardest things I had to do was to remove Eddie as my beneficiary and change my will . Such a brutal dose of reality. Perhaps the Jennifer at the bank was there to let you know that Jennifer is with you, always? I'd like to think so.
May your school year be filled with success and blessings. It is good to be busy and have something meaningful to do.
Glad Hunter is doing well He is growing up fast. love to you and sweet Jennifer, Linda
Gentle care as you "ease" back into work as I do remember how it felt for me after those weeks of summer vacation. :)
Those moments when the harsh reality of our BEloveds not being earth side hurts. Deepest of sighs...
It is feeling as if Hunter is on the right path and has been and to be a part of something like the music feels like a fit. The sense of belonging is a basic need for each of us and during those tender teen years it is vital.
Loving care to dear Jennifer and her mom from Douglas and from me. Grateful you could log on and truly, the migration that DS did has been a bummer. It just feels like a great, big "echo" to me and I'm not sure what they are doing or can do to "fix it." :(
XO Joanie
I feel the love in the responses... we all want to help you... I truly hope you feel the warmth of our desire to help envelop you. I am inclined to believe that the fact the young lady's name was Jennifer was a God wink... I remember when I found out after a mild stroke a few years back that the Physical Therapist who would be working with me was named Kara... It was weird in some ways... she honestly looks like my Cara... My Cara's name was spelled with a C but during her teens she chose to spell it with a K... Young people tend to think we can't do anything right... not even choosing their names... My granddaughter Elizabeth, told me just yesterday that she likes her name okay but its kind of old fashioned... I think its a lovely, feminine name carried by queens... sigh...
Again I hope you feel the balm of our concern warming and easing your heart. Hugs to you and your Jennifer from myself and my Cara. They will forever be ours. Elissa
Sounds like you are going to be very busy with a new school year. My grand daughters start yet in another school the 6th one since starting school they will be going into 4th grade. I do hope Hunter has fun with band and everything that goes with it.
Sending hugs
Penny
August is hard for me too...Cassi was born on August 20, 1991 at 10:47am. The best thing I had ever done or will ever do. Isn't it scary getting close to those dates???
About a year ago I went into a new bank to open a new account and was in the office of a woman who was helping me get it all straightened out. Somehow, I can't remember how, my story of Cassi came out and this businesswoman shared with me the story of her son who hdd difficulties with depression and drugs. She said it was just a miracle she was not in my position. This has happened a few times. I think the Universe brings together people who can commiserate.