August 1st, 2020 - Biking

     I woke up today very late. In the last two days I've felt very antsy at bedtime and so I stay up until I feel ready to sleep. As soon as I woke up my dad dragged me on a trip with him to the post office to ask about a delivery and to drop off a box (teehee). I was loathing the thought of it, but it wasn't as awful as I'd thought. My dad seemed genuinely interested in what I'd been doing, so I told him, and he seemed genuinely proud of me for learning new things and making the best of my time. Four years late, dad. It's not all sunshine and rainbows, but I decided that I would judge him and see him by who he shows himself to be from now on. Instead of trying to shove him into "good dad" or "bad dad" category and then getting confused and flip flopping between the two. Anyway we did the post, I learned some adult stuff which I always enjoy, we ate some japanese food and went to Walmart to buy me a helmet and some pads. 

     Because I've been learning how to bike! I was never taught how when I was a kid and growing up I was always terrified of the thought. Surrendering your balance to a teetering vehicle sounds awful to me, someone with already awful balance. I tried to learn twice in the past, but I was too anxious and my teachers were impatient and rushy. I'm learning with Alex now, my boyfriend, and he is much nicer. It's day two of this and I can pedal now, wobbily. I've been practicing for two hours a day. I've got light scrapes and an aching ass to show for it, hah! The protective gear came in super handy today since I took two tumbles, one of them was particularly bad as I flew off the bike and slid across the asphalt (someone in his garage and a car of people stopped to ask if I was okay). I'm still shaky with the balance but we're getting there. Though Alex is good with positive reinforcement sometimes he can be demotivational without realizing. But he's not nearly as bad as other people I have worked with. I feel a little foolish now that this thing I've been terrified of for over a decade has turned out to be relatively simple. Not simple, but not incredibly hard either. 

     I am very fatigued now, and have been all day. I woke up tired (probably from my wonky sleep schedule) and spend a couple hours out in the socal heat wave (105+ degrees lately, it's ridiculous and gets worse every year), come home and rest then go biking for two hours. I'm very ready to sit around and do nothing for the rest of the day.