Attention.

I don't understand myself. One minute, I'm completely content and happy, and the next I'm on the verge of killing myself. This has been happening numerous times a day, and I feel like I can't take it.
 
My mom and I had another one of our huge fights the other night. During which she happened to say "you cut yourself because you want attention. I know it's not as serious as you're trying to make it out to be.  Grow up, take responsibility for your actions, or I promise I will send you back to the psych ward. You are not going to get me in trouble again for something dumb like this". This pissed me off more than it hurt me. It made me realize how deep this woman is in denial and how horribly selfish she can be. I know I have a problem, and I want nothing more than to fix it. But I need her help.
 
I wish my family understood what I'm going through. I don't want their pity, and I don't want them to pretend that I am more important that anything else going on in their lives, but I do want them to realize that I have never cut or burned myself for attention. I do it because it works. Why would someone intentionally go through the hell that is self-injury simply for attention?