At a party and post party: Thanksgiving Day.
I'm kind of the guy sitting in front of the TV watching the Raider/Dallas game shaking with anxiety. I don't think anyone besides me noticed...People are socializing and I am too timid and empty headed really to really talk about too much. Maybe it's my introverted nature that has me interpreting everything I say and do as awkward or of no real value...but since I wrote this initial part of this journal ...as it's later on now and I have left the party--- - I found myself losing that self critical outlook and I find myself getting back to the lens with which I see myself and my world...there are moments when I am with others that I think to myself and am reminded of 'all the things I am not' - but I think I am probably not alone in that -
and I must look at those moments when I have or experience myself in the context of others when on my own (like just doing chores and adult type things)- and just be happy with myself and my particular take on things...yes life can be understood as a series of narcissistic injuries - but I accept and appreciate who I am and what floats my boat - and how I can achieve the providing for myself and my particular take on living.
Happy Thanksgiving! :)
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nope, i ain't buying that social anxiety is a natural part of an introverted nature. if that were the case, my extroverted nature would protect me from social anxiety and, trust me, it isn't so. my extroverted nature just makes me hyper-express when i'm nervous and gives me more to regret after i finally shut my mouth.
Wouldn’t it be nice to just go somewhere and socialize and feel free and relaxed? Turn off the brain and not think about anything but enjoying the moments life is handing you? I’m asking myself that, too. Hehe. I haven’t been in new social situations in awhile but I feel so reserved at, say, outside-of-work work parties. Like I don’t know what to talk about because my life has been so abnormal.
Hope you had a good time regardless?
thanks Nikki! Yes I had a good time. Grateful to be home :).
thanks Arfie!
Reading all of these and seeing you had a good time! was worth the effort of joining into 'social activity'.
I don't see it as social anxiety, it's more of social perspective awareness. We are all more aware of our feelings, our senses, and it makes it difficult to turn off the 'switch' and just plain relax. I had to practice it for a homework assignment three different times and the more I work it, the easier it gets (still hard, just not as hard as before).
Here's to having a good time and keeping it simple!
thanks Mid!