I am really down right now. I saw my doctor yesterday and she and I talked about the option of going with one way. Either school or work full time. I would really like to work but I also really love to educate myself and I would really love to become a doctor someday, hopefully I can help people in the same situation I am in now. I am so tired. All of this shit that I ordered online came in today. I didn't expect it today and especially all at once and before 1pm! What, that never happens! Now there is a cluster of other items that I have ordered that will come with time. With time. I think that i am going to get stoned and then wait for this stoner pizza place to open at 11pm and then I'll order that pizza and love it! It is totally stoner! it is open from 11pm to 4:20am, isn't that awesome. I don't understand the weight that I hold on the decisions that I make. I live as if I have all the money in the world and I just blow it on things like hotels and pizza, when I have no credit and have blown a good inheritance. I don't know what's constantly happening to me but I am so confused and so hurt I don't know what to do. 
Goodnight moon.