Arghhhh

laurim45 04/09/2014
I am sorry that you are hurting so deeply. It doesn\'t make sense to us, at least not yet and maybe never. I too prayed for my son to find some peace and joy and for God to reach down and fix him. Then he died and I felt abandoned by God. How could He allow this to happen? But my son is now all I had prayed for him to be. The only thing is..he is not here physically. Sometimes we just miss their touch and smell. I hurt for you and with you...everyday. I will continue to lift you up while I fall to my knees. Lauri

deleted_user 04/09/2014
Oh, I see you\'ve been reading my mind again, Gina. :o/

You are in the \"shock has worn off\" period of a lifelong journey. Hysteria, yelling at the top of your voice, asking God \"WHY\" (and someone suggested to me the answer might be \"why not\" but I don\'t buy that, I think there\'s a serious and deeply spiritual, perhaps even \"holy\", aspect of this horror). At least you\'re not lying on the floor but even if you are, that\'s ok too. I was so incredibly strung out and blasted that before each of my two therapy sessions, I literally paced the office, could not stop moving.

I know for sure two things: your daughter is free and healthy, I\'ve seen April FIVE TIMES in the past three years and they were NOT DREAMS. Second thing: I know for sure this life is not \"all there is\" because I had a Near Death Experience at age five and I was warned about all of this, everything that was laid out ahead of me in life for God\'s purpose. I carried that warning my entire life and knew exactly what it meant when April turned 23. The day she died, most likely the moment she pulled the trigger after asking me if she could \"stay out a while longer\" and promising \"I\'ll be home soon\", I jumped off the couch. The entire reality of what had happened came to me. I just knew.

My heart to yours.

RememberKala 04/09/2014
No baby.....it just doesn\'t make sense.....

BinkyH 04/09/2014
I hear and remember the raw pain in your words. My heart and thoughts are with you. I wish I could hug you.

jmk1973 04/09/2014
None of this makes sense. Our children should not die, before we do. It is just not the natural way of things, yet there it is. We are all left to cry out \"WHY \".....There is never an answer...

((((HUGS))))....Julia

Livingjuicy 04/09/2014
Feeling the heartache and heartbreak with such intensity...

Sitting beside you quietly with the deepest of loving care~

Gari 04/09/2014
Your sisters of the heart have all been here. We feel your pain. Please be gently with yourself. Much love to you.
Gari

lynette22 04/09/2014
Hugs and love because my heart screams right along yours!

connilla 04/10/2014
No it doesn\'t make sense and NEVER will...

Robin4 04/10/2014
I\'m so sorry. Why? That is the gazillion dollar question. I only wish I had some form of an answer. I don\'t ask that question much anymore but I do wonder. Your life changes in a blink of an eye. You mentioned a book you read. Another really good book that I have loved and really touched me is titled \"The Grieving Garden\". It is about twenty two parents who share their stories about losing a child. It is by Suzanne Redfern and Susan K. Gilbert. Sending you love and continued support. Robin

Missinglisa 04/10/2014
You are so right. It doesn\'t make sense. Nothing really does when we lose a child.
Like you, I always worried more about Lisa. On some level, I knew that she would not live her full lifespan; and on some level I believe she knew too. I think perhaps it is woman\'s intuition.
Wishing you and Cassi love and peace,
Marlene

NoraMc 04/10/2014
why, you, why me, why all the moms here,,,,, no answers,,,,, just a big ,,,,,
sigh.............. love ya!

KandL 04/12/2014
Gina, I always worried about Ed too. Motherly intuition? I don\'t know. I do know it is a cruel life when a parent has to bury their child. I am so very sorry. Holding your hand, Linda