Are You Kidding Me?!

Today was a good day all in all.  My husband called as he has been lately.  He, for the first time in a long time, is finally showing his son some CONSTANT in his life.  One of my concerns I've had is when my son is old enough to realize that his dad can't always be counted on.  How do you expain why daddy doesn't keep his word.  "Oh, it's ok...daddy just needed to drink himself to oblivian and snort a few hundred dollars worth of coke up his nose, but when he comes home you can watch him sleep it off for a day or 2.  After he wakes up, you can see what kind of mood he's in and maybe he'll notice that you're there.  My husband lives the life of a 14 yo child back with his parents! I heard somewhere that an addict's maturity stops when they start using.  I don't know if this is true but my husband was about 14 when he began.  When I kicked him out the first time it was for 10 months.  My son was an infant and after bathing my newborn son in my sink, next to an electric heater because we had no heat for 3 1/2 months and had to heat water on a propane camping stove,  Oh yeah, did I mention my son was born in December?  One day I had, what I like to refer to as a brief out of body experience.  For a moment I was on the outside looking in and I guess I just hit MY ROCK BOTTOM! Though my husband appears to being doing better in many ways regarding his son, his lack of accountability and zero responsibility leave my feelings void.  He has yet to acknowledge anything he has done.  He walks in and out of our lives as if nothings wrong or even changed.  My God, I took everything away and he still doesn't get it.  He does not seek help, nor does he pay me a dime in child support.  Yeah, I know the process...but you can't get water from a rock and I just couldn't chase him anymore.  I figure as long as my son is protected from this ugliness for right now, that's ok with me.  Did I mention he lives with his parents?lol...After the 10 month separation he moved back in with me for 2 months, promising he'd change.  That was short lived and I finally kicked him out in November, AGAIN.  Back to the folks he goes! They are helping to kill their son by not wanting him to be mad at them.  Are you kidding me?!  I get it, somewhat, 'cause I am a parent too.  But if my son ever did what this man did to his family I'd be the first one to tell him how ashamed I was.  They too act as if everythings fine.    I apologize for my long-winded vent...I didn't even realize how angry I still am.  Well, gotta get some sleep, May God bless each and everyone of you and your families,   THANKS ALL!