April 2016
Hard to believe it's the middle of April already!!! I haven't written in a while, sometimes I need a break. Sometimes I need a break from most everything.
I went to my diet doctor yesterday (drove myself, yay). I now weigh more than I ever have in my entire life, lol. 30 lbs more than the night I gave birth to Cassi. I thought I was a huge monster then, if I'd only knew...so he loaded me up with appetite suppressants...again. If it doesn't help this time I am jst going to give up. Remember the good ole' days when I was fit and healthy...also a time when my family was whole. Now it is missing it's star, a lot of it is shattered and the rest is limping along just trying to keep going, it's all we can do.
On the plus side, the medication had given me loads of energy and I got some houseworkdone today I needed to do many days ago but just didn't feel like it.
I was up late last night, meds, watching old reruns of Friends...one of my favorite shows from my favorite era. I had the world back then, but I didn't know it at the time. Does anyone else miss the 90's??? It seemed such a simple time, before 9/11, before the entire world nearly lost it's mind and nothing has ever been the same since. Mostly I had my little munchkin, who kept me exhausted and even irritable at times but I loved more than love, still love more than love. I miss her so much, I know it goes without saying.
At least we are having some pleasant days, not too cool and not too warm yet. That means a lot in Florida. We are planning another trip to Tennessee the first of next month. It's so nice to have something to look forward to :)
Hope you are all as well as possible.
All my love,
Gina
I went to my diet doctor yesterday (drove myself, yay). I now weigh more than I ever have in my entire life, lol. 30 lbs more than the night I gave birth to Cassi. I thought I was a huge monster then, if I'd only knew...so he loaded me up with appetite suppressants...again. If it doesn't help this time I am jst going to give up. Remember the good ole' days when I was fit and healthy...also a time when my family was whole. Now it is missing it's star, a lot of it is shattered and the rest is limping along just trying to keep going, it's all we can do.
On the plus side, the medication had given me loads of energy and I got some houseworkdone today I needed to do many days ago but just didn't feel like it.
I was up late last night, meds, watching old reruns of Friends...one of my favorite shows from my favorite era. I had the world back then, but I didn't know it at the time. Does anyone else miss the 90's??? It seemed such a simple time, before 9/11, before the entire world nearly lost it's mind and nothing has ever been the same since. Mostly I had my little munchkin, who kept me exhausted and even irritable at times but I loved more than love, still love more than love. I miss her so much, I know it goes without saying.
At least we are having some pleasant days, not too cool and not too warm yet. That means a lot in Florida. We are planning another trip to Tennessee the first of next month. It's so nice to have something to look forward to :)
Hope you are all as well as possible.
All my love,
Gina
Replies
You are doing the best you can, and that is good! We live our \"new normal\" lives now, broken lives, while we struggle to find new meaning in this world. I see your extra weight as the \"scar tissue\" of your immense pain. Don\'t be too hard on yourself, Gina! You are still, and will always be, Cassi\'s very loving mom!! And nothing will ever change that!
Gentle hugs to a brave lady! xxx
You know, I was remembering my old relatives, so many, (most) who are dead, and realized my Aunt lost a son and a grandson, both of my grandmothers lost sons, and my great-grandmother lost her own grandsons, bravely immigrated to this new. country. What bravery these people had. How can I not carry on the families strength & hope. My maternal gramma, lost husband & son in the same year! One aunt\'s son had autism, and was institutionalized for the rest of his long life. All lives have their losses & troubles. It\'s Life, a vale of tears.
I hope you enjoy your trip to TN. I once belonged to Curves a work out place for women only. They developed a diet plan, I have the book I lost 38 lbs the first time I went on it. I am back at it and lost 15lbs now, I am stuck at a certain weight but the inches are going down. I can now fit into my small clothes. YEA ! I hope you are successful with your weight loss.
ps send some of that energy down here to me I could use extra
Hugs
Penny
I have come to terms with this crazy weight dilemma. Will never be slim or thin.
Have a coworker who has gotten on the plant based diet train. Not me and it\'s difficult to hear about it everyday. Working in my yard is my exercise and the fresh air feels good for my soul. I\'ve been having lunch as my main or big meal and keeping dinner smaller. Drinking more water and trying to have fruit as a snack. So far I\'ve been able to get rid of 12lbs since Christmas. It\'s slow, but it is a move in the right direction.
I agree that the 90\'s were fast paced and fun as we raised our children. It was exhausting too. Sports, homework, Scouts, friends & outings. Many fond memories to treasure. Oh how we miss our children.
Sending you and Cassi love,
Debbie
The 90\'s were the best years of my life. I had both of my son\'s and never in a million years thought any thing like this would have happened. Great memories and I am happy to say that I have those memories. Good luck to you with your diet, I have also gained some myself and get it off in the spring, but it is getting harder now that I am 58. Lots of walking for me...XOX, Debbie
Yes, the 90\'s were amazing... The raising of children and all that went into that fullness of life. Often wonder if at times I was too darn busy to truly savor it. One saving grace were all our camping trips that we took as a family. A time to unplug, BE in nature and just enjoy one another fully. My husband was so wise at that time when we purchased our first camper that I told him \"we could not afford\" and his reply was, \"we cannot afford not to as this will be a container for all of our memories\" and indeed it was.
The weight thing is always a challenge and for me it\'s about feeling healthy. Walking has been it and I walk not long distances, yet a little over two miles a day and I can see a difference and I feel it. Everything feels stronger, plus I have met some of the nicest people, their furry friends and nature never ceases to offer an amazing show.
Gentle care dear Gina and hope too that your trip away is just what is needed.
Heartfelt (((hugs)))
XO Joanie
Funny how perfect things are in retrospect...and they truly were good...we just couldn\'t see it...so busy with little ones and life! Thank heavens for those memories. Take gentle care Gina...love and hugs...Karen
Hi Gina, it is good to hear from you. I understand needing a break as I felt that way so much so those first years. During my grieving period, I gained a lot of weight too. I weighed almost 200 pounds. It took awhile but my life evened out and I lost the weight. I think some eat to not feel and some can\'t eat, it seems to go both ways and in the middle. It is probably different for everybody. You are doing the best you can and for now that is enough. Be gentle to yourself.
Sending you lots of love,
Leda
Being a stress eater, I totally understand the weight issue. Tried the low carb diet and it made me sick. I know that weight watchers has always worked for me, but for some reason I just havn\'t rejoined. nI am so sick of spending money on diets and then gaining the weight back, when I try to just eat normally.
Depression is my constant companion and food my \"drug\" of choice. I went to a visitation at a funeral home tonight. One of the ladies I played Bunko with, many years ago died, from complications of diabetis and being obese. She was a sweet person, a little younger than me. You would think her death would make me want to diet wouldn\'t you??? Hell no!! Drove by Sonic opn the way home, for a turtle pecan Breeze!!
(((((HUGS))))), Julia
I am behind in my responding to journals. Just know that I think about you and wish you peace,
Love and tight hugs, M