appreciating how things 'actually are'

A lot of journals today...

But I'll say that sometimes when I am on my own and so challenged to keep

myself from feeling upset or yearning for something that is maybe like

an object of how 'it's supposed to be' or maybe just a vision of how I would like things...

it's like mentally I reach for 'the other' in my life as a sounding board...

and the only sounding board I have are the images of how things are supposed to be (in so many words.)

but I kind of caught myself tonight and said to myself to look at what I actually have...

and that I have some pretty nice things in my life (gratitude.) I have a lovely family who I see a lot.

I have a wonderful roommate named Blue...lovely friends... I have work and so on...

I guess the answer is, it's not always easy to appreciate just what you've got

especially when it's like I am living in solitary confinement - and the only the that validates me

on my own are the images of cliche or what the tv sells...

I am just reminded tonight to look at how things actually are and appreciate them.

And so I am - feelings as a result can bring me down but that's my key to

shift gears and 'do.'