Apologizing

I don't know why it has been so hard for me to post my journals for you guys to read. For a while now I've become to anxious to even talk about whats hurting me online. Iv'e become a mess. Wy is it so easy for other people to come out and talk about everything? I feel bottled up I'm having a hard time giving advice. I can't think of how to say what I feel. I will write a journal entry and then maybe 5 minutes later I delete it. I wanted to post a topic in the GD, but then I didn't want it to be open for everyone. So then I was going to just ask for someone to talk to me via PM, but I got scared again to talk about it. I don't want to talk about it with my friends...I'm not sure what 'it' is exactly. Some days I'm fine, then other days I feel suffocated. Today I can't stop crying.