Apathy
Well, I feel...I don't even know. Disappointed? Is it weird that I'm let down that I haven't found (much) more evidence that his behavior continues? Granted, there's another unknown female's name in his phone with whom he's been communicating. Actually, he began talking to her while he was still having an A with the other woman. But whether or not he is having another A or not, I feel very cut off from my feelings. Part of me wants hom to be having another A so that I will have a good excuse to leave. But, if I were going to leave, wouldn't I have done so when I first learned of this last A (that, btw, only ended because the OW ended it)? I feel so messed up. What is wrong with me? My therapist friend told me i need to work on liking myself. This is true. But, how long will that take?
I do love my husband. But, and as much as I hate to admit it, I feel as if I've outgrown him. I recently finished reading "Contemplating Divorce," thinking it would yield me answers. It was very informative, but I'm still not sure what I want to do. Now, I'm reading, "Stop Spoiling that Man." It's another enjoyable and informative read. Really opening my eyes to his manipulation of me and his childish behavior. I find myself caught betwixt love and resentment
I don't want that. I don't want to be a bitter, resentful person. I want to be a wise, discerning, and logical person, led by the Holy Spirit. Im afraid. Afraid of making the wrong decision. Afraid of growing cold. Afraid of driving him away when we could make it through this stronger. Afraid of wasting my time by staying. Afraid of getting hurt. I hate this. Something's gotta give.
I do love my husband. But, and as much as I hate to admit it, I feel as if I've outgrown him. I recently finished reading "Contemplating Divorce," thinking it would yield me answers. It was very informative, but I'm still not sure what I want to do. Now, I'm reading, "Stop Spoiling that Man." It's another enjoyable and informative read. Really opening my eyes to his manipulation of me and his childish behavior. I find myself caught betwixt love and resentment
I don't want that. I don't want to be a bitter, resentful person. I want to be a wise, discerning, and logical person, led by the Holy Spirit. Im afraid. Afraid of making the wrong decision. Afraid of growing cold. Afraid of driving him away when we could make it through this stronger. Afraid of wasting my time by staying. Afraid of getting hurt. I hate this. Something's gotta give.
Replies
My advice Dear.......sorry but you just need to move on. You love him I know but you could love another. You get only one life. Be happy. That is what I have found out the hard way.
I understand how you are feeling and the emotions you are going though. I hope that You will know what and how to do things when the time is right for you. Hopefully time will help to clarify things and lead you to better times ahead
Have you read \"Love Must be Tough\" by James C. Dobson? Even if you read the one chapter on infidelity while standing in the bookstore, it\'s good advice. You\'re carrying a heavy burden right now...I know it\'s hard, but I would ask you not to make any decisions without confronting the problem. I do know that feeling of wanting to end it, while catching him \"red-handed\" to ease your conscience. I know the feeling of gathering evidence, and it\'s never enough, especially if he\'s denying what you know to be true. It\'s a hard situation. You love him, so you still have hope that somehow he can explain it away...and if he picks up on that, he will. I was in such a state, that my wife could tell me the moon was square, and I\'d want to believe it so bad. If he still doesn\'t know that you know, it gives you time to decide how to approach it...but again, it isn\'t something you want to put off for a long time, because you will get comfortable in your misery, and eventually, you might catch him red-handed...but then you\'ll just wish you had somehow stopped it before it came to your point of no return. Praying for you. You are stronger than you know.