Anyone there?

Well been off my meds for a little over a month now cause of the lovely new Obummer Care. Christmas and the first of the year were a living nightmare. Two days before Christmas, which is already a hard time of year for me, my wife decides to come to me and tell me she want to separate cause she's just not happy with me anymore. We both decided that it would be best to do it after Christmas so that the kids can have a good Christmas. So before New Years I go and stay with my parents. Jan. 9th, which is my b-day, she goes with my parents, the kids, and me to dinner, and pretty much humiliates me by making fun of me about my age. The first of Feb. we finally seem to work things out and I move back in. Things have been a little rough but I can deal. Last week she comes to me and tells me she's pregnant with our fourth. Now I enjoy my kids so having another kid doesn't bother me. It's the fact that we had discussed having another and were going to wait till things became a little more stable at home. She said she was still taking her birth control but when I looked I noticed they hadn't been touched in months. I'm upset cause she deceived me. With the current shape I'm in, I am on the brink of a mental breakdown. I have no one to talk to, no way to just get a way for awhile, and this is building really bad. I wish I had been on here more often than I have but I have been so busy with school and work it's been impossible. I doubt anyone even remembers me anymore but ah well. I at least got to vent somewhere that maybe someone will see it. I just don't want to be lonely anymore. I want to be loved for who i am faults and all. I am tired of everyone trying to make me into what they want. I hate this world and all it has to offer if I have a choice I'd rather be dead!