anybody see the geeky perp who fired the marshmallows?

Hi,
Gonna try to do some thinking out loud.  It won't be easy cause I've been shot full of marshmallows.  Yup somebody pumped me full of marshmallow lead right between the eyes. 

need to set up a tips hotline.......1-800-no more marshmallows is just too long
Brain fog is so hard to describe.......maybe this sillier explanation will help illustrate my point.  If my brain is inhabited my mini marshmallows (aka brain fog) that would explain an awful lot about today.  Some stuff is happening on auto pilot, but this is one of those days where I'm staring off into space and totally blitzing out.  Don't know where I went or how long I was there.  My neck, glands and that space between my ears is thick.............super wide , think double wide mobile home...........how well can a body function with a heavy ol' doublewide mobile home sitting on their shoulders pumped full of marshmallows?
It ain't easy........sheez.  The auto pilot stuff included putting slippers on my feet, getting some yogurt......but I'm also sitting here thirsty cause I can't remember to roll over to the frig and get water.  This is a side effect of brain fog, I remember and think in just a sec.........type logical sentences via the computer and sit there with dry mouth.  This is gonna be a funny peculiar day.......not funny ha ha......just a weird day. 
I just put a sticky note on my hand, it say's "Brush your teeth Greta." 
Wish for a rolling chair ride through shower & teeth cleaning combo..............saying please with cream & sugar......xo.  AT the end a big fan will blow my hair dry........works for me! By the way why did my brain write Greta?  Who is Greta?  Don't I deserve some attn? Even my brain foggy brain is a wise guy.........why I oughtta!!!!
The good news?  I don't have to argue before the supreme court today.  I don't have to lead the troops anywhere, thank God!  I wouldn't want to be in charge of scout troops let alone grown up forces of any kind.  I don't have enough stamina to even lead the march in circles round my house. 
You're right, sometimes I am ridiculous...........here's the deal.  I am grateful that God nudged me and nudged me until I got it.......that I was in need of being at home full time.  That I had to come here to get still and quiet to listen to his plans for me.  He had a sanctuary, this home all ready for me.......for little exhausted, confused hurting mixed up worried, scared, worn out me.  He did so much in care of me........he kept nudging and nudging me to listen.  He wasn't pushy........he just kept hanging in there with me and let me battle it out with my independent stubborn free will through all kinds of mess. 
I battled some very serious moments in ways that now seem unfathomable........in 2007 I drove myself to the hospital with blood clots in my leg and pulmonary embolisms in both lungs. I had a strong sense of foreboding.  My gut was saying,"Get to the hospital or you will die." ...so I threw on sweats and drove to the hospital. 
It did not occur to me to call anyone, raise a flag, arrange for alternate transportation, call an ambulance.  I have lived as a very in charge kind of person for a very long time........since I was a little girl, asking for help is something I have to work on actively.......cause I clearly suck at it. 
It was only later when the head R.N. came in and talked to me that I realized how foolish I had been..........and how lucky I was to be alive.  She gently fussed and showed such concern for my well being.  We have to be in care of reaching out more and doing it all better.  Doing it better doesn't always mean do it yourself, which is a hard lesson for many of us.........cause we think we have to be in charge of everything.  Because of life challenges and lack of support via family or for whatever reason we take it on and have very little safety net/not enough soft places to land .........few that understand or say the things we so need to hear at times. 
People distance themselves, don't express concern, disappear...........and we don't know what else to do, what other options are there for us?  We feel so alone and often feel cast off the island of life...........
My vision is not good today.  With or without readers it's a bust.  I am going to the eye guy on Tuesday.  I have now gotten the rheumys promise that the referral be sent to the hematologist, I have left two messages for the appt. scheduler at the hematologist's office and still no call back.  I have never had to wait more than a week to be able to make an appt with a doctor.  Usually you can call and someone schedules it on the spot.  This is messed up. 
Mini marshmallows are popping out of my ears............guess I'd better go rest.  My head hurts, my back hurts, it hurts to walk.........I need to dream of better days.........dream of flying........so sleepy. I'm hearing the strains of an old Bee Gees song in my head........."how can you mend a broken heart, how can a loser ever win, please help me mend this broken heart..........and let me live again."  that is so random.........it's all in my head.........one second I can't think how to stand up and the next I have clear memory of song lyrics.  Scrambled circuits for sure, all the little men in white lab coats are inside my body messing with my controls panel ...............knock off early men, go do some exploratory stuff out in space...................way out there in say...... outer outer space and leave me alone.  i'm all tuckered out........if this journal makes no sense it's alright.  at least i got some finger exercise in today...........gotta look for the good in all things...................xoxo, sparrow